Decypher Me

He thinks my attention is momentary  

Best way to attain it he believes is merely negative means

He sees me as a cynic, a dreamer too afraid to dream

Claims I’m hurtful and hateful,with a hole where my heart should be

Moment by moment his opinion changes of me

He expects changes from me, lays it out truthfully unknowing of the pain inflicted so cruelly

Trying to help me without tying me down, tearing me down

Unfairly I expect him to know how much my choices already weigh

Unjustly I only want for him to trust me

Pushing or pulling, none will ever move me

My emotions flash and flare with each flick of wind

Sadly sharing its strength with his words,

Each linguistic blow knocks that same wind from my sails

Stuck as the water grows stale, stagnant

The sweet salty air becomes sour, sticky, sickly

I’m finding it hard then harder to breathe

If only he knew how badly I need for him to just believe

Not to cast stones nor remind me of my crutches nor falls and fails

How could he not see, I am aware if I continue this way I may never grow

No need to point out my flaws, that’s not the attention I crave nor desire

His affection I wish could be my only infection,

Instead I’m left licking salt from my freshly healing wounds at his discretion

It may seem I don’t care, or ever plan to change

The truth is my dear; far, far more strange

I love that you make me feel loved,

You remind me of how it felt to be happy

I appreciate you showing me opportunity in all that could be

Just please; I beg of you when you do, to do so kind and gently

I understand it pains you to see me destroying my self,

Bear in mind though I do so very well already

All by myself

Realistically I am in no need of help

©2015 Shavon Taylor CloversAllOver

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