Fuck It

Frick this or fuck that

Fix this or fake that

Fall for this or fall on that

Love this, hate that

End this, start that

Give this or take that

Forgive this, already forgot that

Reclaim this, refuse that

Recite this or refine that

Lose this to love that

Fuck this and fuck that



Clovers All Over

~Shavon Taylor~

Who’s The Fool?

You’re thoughtless, not often on me do your thoughts rest
Restless to the point of reckless
You don’t want to remember tho how could you forget?
Act like it’s okay to let yourself go every day, all you’re doing is accumulating more regrets
Your plate piled high while on the highway you fly
Like papers in the wind your worries fly
For a few brief seconds the weight lifts
You’re weightless, wait less than a second and they hit the road like it’s raining eggs down on your head
How is that brief moment worth all the grief?
Can’t you just own it?
For a few minutes is all it takes really, once you actually face reality
So rarely these things are as bad as they seem
What hurts and haunts the most is the shame, always looking for something or someone to blame
Any reason, anything at all to soften the landing when you fall
What you don’t realize is these excuses are the walls you will fall thru, not the feathers on which you’ll land!
You only make it harder the more you run, as you flee you create a scene
The more you panic the more the pain aches
Your heart, your conscience, your head, even your body will feel weighted down with dread
Soggy sloshy steps drag and pull
Under the water you try to hide
But without air we cannot survive
Taking drugs to get high, so high up in the air
But without the ground how are we to grow?
So you bury yourself deep in the mud
That quickly becomes quicksand
The world around us begins to lose shape, there is only so much we can fake
Only so much damage a soul can take
Battered and tho self inflicted, still bruised
Ego
Isn’t she a bitch?
Like anyone cares who you act like you is
The real you, your truth one day please let it shine thru
On that day weightless will come so easily, just you wait and see

Awareness

I need a few minutes of your time friends and family, foes and a few I don’t knows, future somethings who currently feel like nothings

Let’s discuss the darkness and  try to shed a lil light on a few things I hope most of you won’t have to wish you already knew

See I have come to realize that I am entirely direly creeping closer to my expiry.

Depressed.

What??? I know right?!?

Well the truth is the people who always seem so selfless, the ones who care more that any one cares to.

Crackin’ jokes bout themselves when they have to, if that’s what it takes to pull a smile out of you

The ones who seemingly never have a bad day or just can’t keep a smile off their face

These are the ones ready to come undone, on the brink of the discovery of the age old question, is there life after.

These people, my people they smile for you cuz they don’t ever want you to know the depths of the pain that they do

They don’t want you to see how low or worthless they feel cuz empathy runs FAR to deeply in them and they  can’t imagine moving any of that weight onto you

Go around crackin jokes pickin up people’s hope, the cost is merely a few more pounds on my coat

That heart on my sleeve never stops growing.

That pain that you got, it keeps overflowing, worry not tho I’ll clean it up with out you even knowing

My true sadness never showing

When Robin Williams took his own life, I’ll tell you right now I was so fucking mad

Not for the fact that I never got to meet him or any other obscurity

I only got mad cuz of my own insecurities, I got mad cuz deep down I was afraid

Completely terrified that I too one day may take a life that is so unfair and unkind to take 

Make no mistake I’m not seeking attention, not by any means

Those of you who know me know full well how easily and happily will cause a scene

No, I’m  not seeking attention, I don’t want you to worry bout me at all

I ask instead that you pay attention to those who surround you, who always seem so upbeat, so seemingly complete

The ones who can always make u smile when all you want to do is break down n cry

The ones who never need cheering up yet they keep cheering you on

Please reach out to them if they suddenly become silent or for days  just randomly are gone

Sleep is a great escape, don’t wanna be sad so in bed instead I’ll stay

I tell you all of this in hopes we can help those who try so hard to go unseen.

So that maybe tomorrow we can all find a way to help ensure we won’t lose another soul who’s anything like me.

Live The Way You Love

Funny lookin’ in the mirror yet I can’t look her in the eyes

Inside I hide so much fear from her,

Can’t let her see thru my disguise.

The pain still seeps in

The world awakens; still, she sleeps in

Letting it all pass by yet again

She hangs her head to cry

So lonely yet so full of love to give

Always searchin’ for help from above yet so low she chooses to live

Vowing one day she will let the sun shine in on her darkness

Somehow, some way she will turn all this sadness to bliss

There is no reason for anyone to not have what they need

No acceptable reason to plant the seed of greed

No longer will she allow herself to go with out

Refusing to let her judgement ever again be clouded by doubt

If only she stopped allowing the bad ones in,

She might see how much easier it could be to finally win

Her smile no longer she will fake

Another second of bitterness I honestly don’t believe she can take

This world, all humanity would prosper so greatly if we all merely did our share

If we only did things the way we all knew was fair

Never taking advantage of another for our own gain

Instead of stopping to watch what causes pain,

We could stop what created it.

Rather than fight, let’s debate a bit!

Take a lil time to listen to our fellow man, I bet we could come up with a mutually beneficial plan

Maybe take a chance

Find ways to change the world

Or just investigate it’s mysterious ways

A new view, seeing past all the games we used to play

No more excuses for committing crimes,

No need for catching people like fish on your line,

Isn’t anyone willing to make a sacrifice

In the end do you not see

We are the only ones to pay the price

Karma will come back for you,

Honestly it’s your choice if she’s nice

She only dishes what she’s taken

Still you wonder why your heart is breakin’?

If you think you haven’t earned this heartache, I’m sorry to say you are mistaken

She knows what we do, she sees all

She is not the reason you fall,

Though she could be the reason you can finally stand proud or walk tall

I realize my opinion may not mean that much to you,

That’s just fine, go on doin’ what you do.

You can take these words how ever you wish,

Just remember the same you put out,

Will end up back in your dish

©2013 CloversAllOver Shavon Taylor

Stupid Cupid and His Lovely Mess

This stupid cupid has made a lovely mess
Not for quite sum time has he done his best
He’s a drunk, haphazardously flying around with a new toy

His shotgun of love
Loaded with love-bird shot amo he spreads lust and confusion everywhere he goes
In a world so full of delusion can we really expect any less?
Each shot hits more than just two, spreading an array of emotions some just cant wade thru
They drown their sorrows the best way us humans know how to
Drinkin’ up, “Keep ’em comin’, dont lemme see the bottom of that glass
Others they just obsess, oh this love sick game has become such a mess
No longer do we seek a partner rather a patsy for our crimes
Anything to avoid the truth
If u wanna be happy u gotta start with u and see that shit all the way thru

Drip Drop

Just as I once again began to believe that there might actually be some one out there who really gets me.

I told myself it’s okay to open up, so I could invite you in.

Believing your intentions to be perfectly pure,

I looked past all our imperfections.

Facing the sun not a cloud in the sky, in all directions as far as my eye could see.

Suddenly I find myself caught in a shower of realization that maybe to me love truly is blind.

Feeling the wetness upon my cheeks while regaining the strength back in my knees.

“These drops didnt fall from these eyes did they?”

Surely they couldn’t have fallen from such an amazingly clear sky?

I was working on our foundation, could it be the irrigation burst on me?

Maybe it’s condensation?

Or is it just a lack of consideration?

Talk is cheap you see when it’s just tounge n cheek.

So I climb back into bed wide awake awaiting sleep.

Dreams can be so deceiving, especially when you chose to ignore the screams.

Please do not wake me, I fear how far I fell!

So tired now yet I still wonder “How?”

How can words be so hollow, how can this hurt be do damn hard to swallow?

How did I let n myself get back here, how did I let my guard down again?

So close I was to belief!

How close it feels to defeat, now I seek nothing but relief.

A stop to the sadness amongst my madness.

I’d much rather stay dry as I lie in my bed than to walk in the rain while you lie tellin me it’s sunny every day!

©2019 Shavon Taylor Cloversallover

🍀❤

Dr.Phil Impressions Part 2

Shattered, scattered like slivers of a fabroge egg

The facade I had always hoped was no mirage just disappeared

Poof!

No proof I ever saw anything at all

No evidence to even suggest a fall

All this time precariously perched on the ledge

Dragged down the rabbit hole crashing, thrashing, smashing

Trying to break the chain attached to a ton of lead

Never saw it coming

Worse now I believe I may have reached the end

He can’t face me, refusing to see the hurt

Pain I so readily took for anyone else, just to give them a chance to take a better look

Always attempting to clear another’s plate of all their hate

Everything I’ve done, all that I do

Believe it or not was all for the rest of you

Taking from me what none have even tried to give

Risking it all for the others just to give them a chtance to live

Somebody please shake me awake, this is my worst nightmare, it cant be a dream

Pulling myself together this time feels so fucking impossible

This is something that just isn’t like me

I almost feel completely defeated

I can usually so easily beat it

Yet this darkness is creeping in on me and my hand just cant find the light

I try but can’t find a way to make it all right

We’ve spent literally days talking of the importance of truth

Then you lie thru your teeth cuz you don’t wanna check what’s actually underneath

Below the surface, just under my skin

Tearing a hole right thru

I may be used to this shit from the people who never bother to care

Never thought I’d be defending myself from you

I some how do get it, we both live to be destroyed

Never thought I’d have to be suspicious of you too

Cautiously, consciously, carefully cutting you loose

I don’t care what it takes for once I refuse to lose

Dr.Phil Impressions Part 1

You said this is why you never mention things, “cuz it always turns into a pissing contest

I’m sorry dear I must contest, you haven’t mentioned shit since day one

I’ve been workin’ on tearing your walls down since our Dr.Phil left

I really must confess, that’s the happiest you’ve ever made me

Sad to know you gotta be a complete mess to even act like you might being ’round me

I’ll never forget that morning or the sweetness towards me

“Good morning beautiful!”

The exact words outta your mouth

All day long you held me near and kept calling me “Dear”

Tho we both know it wasn’t only Phil that transformed you

I’ll tell you right now if I could gain you back with one pill I still wouldn’t want you to take it

I want to find something real, don’t want you to hafta fake it

Just thought I’d let you know whats on my mind, no contest here it’s happiness I seek to find

Responsible

I feel so alone sometimes

Usually that’s when I drift of into space in my mind

Often tho I find myself lost in there

Suddenly I’m confined

As my chest tightens I fear I’m running out of air

How can I be so frieghtening, even to me

These chains that hold me I know I can beat

For I know they aren’t real

Still I stay, unmoved

That’s not to say I do not feel

My past continues to harm me, I choose not to heal

Refusing to close the wounds, allowing none to disarm me

I know, tho rarely admit I am the source of my own insanity

I truly am the only one to blame, the only one able to make it all fade away

So why then you ask is this where I choose to stay?

Funny I ask myself the same thing every day.

New

I should probably thank you for making it easy not to make yet another incredibly terrible decision
Yet I still want to tell you that you can’t even begin to imagine what you’ll be missin’
Sure I’m a mess, an explosion of colour and commotion
Tho a heart so pure and full of emotion
I care beyond anything words could even describe
“Childish” some may say, voices stained with distain
I like to think I live lightly while shining brightly
When it comes to the children, man do I speak their language
We laugh and play in so much of the same ways
It should come as no surprise how easily we just understand it
Some may think me unsure
Can’t say I blame them, I tend to skip plans like flat rocks on a still water surface
Those things that matter most you may notice are those on which I refuse to sway
Keeping time with the beat isn’t quite the same as keeping to the time of day
Sure I play games, in fact I play all kinds
My one golden rule?
Never play with anothers heart or their mind
Not a sore loser
Even when it feels I lose all the time
I always dance in the rain
Weather it’s in or outdoors
Sometimes I linger for a moment longer
I like to do like the dew
As those drops fall they wash it all to start something new
I thought for a moment that rain had passed but this morning I think I’ll be dancing again too

Introduction to My Invisible Invicibles

Well done hun, I bet you even think you’ve won

I guess we’re the only one playing it’s kind of hard to lose

The master of manipulation: self-proclaimed since day one

You probably even think it’s funny how easily you tricked me

Truth is I think it’s funny you picked me

Not only am I the easiest mark, I’m easily the one with the biggest heart

Don’t think I didn’t see your shit I just chose, unlike most, to look past it

Every single second of every single day I wear my invisible invincibles: My Rose Colored Glasses

They allow me to see only the best a person or situation can be

They brighten up the shadows, hell they even bring you right up out of the shallows

Don’t think for a second you have set off my alarms

My heart is and always will be free of guards

No lock or key not even a single bar

Sure I get trampled hell I’ve been through stampedes

Sure you won the game

A game that I simply refuse to play

The part I really don’t understand is intentionally hurting someone who cares for you

I’m not looking for an apology in fact I don’t want to single thing from you

I just thought it might be nice for you to see it from a different point of view

Dark Dirt

This man awoke every part of me

Every itch, every nerve

He touched every peice of me

every inch, every curve

Feeling myself arch towards him

Aching for that next caress

Waiting,

Realizing,

With him

He took my very breath

Still waiting

Trying to not go stir crazy

I’m too excited, he can see it

What’s next?

Skin on skin

I’m shaking like a leaf

“And yet we didn’t even begin”

He growlled thru his dark grin…

Afraid where he may take aim

Oh how I do love/hate his game

From fright to pure delight

He’s always just out of sight

Tho never out of reach

Do you love to teach

Or are you hear to learn

 

 

 

 

 

CRASHHH

Walking through the drugstore not thinking of you at all
In fact last few days you’ve rarely crossed my mind
Then there you are out of nowhere
Suddenly you knocked me right off my feet, when
You crashhhed into me
The memories of you whisper singing to my ear so softly
I once loved u madly now all thats left is mad
I don’t know when things started going downhill or how it ever got this bad
I don’t know when I lost you
Tho I know you’re no longer next to me
Maybe it’s just me but it all seemed to fall so suddenly
I could never have imagined it would end like this
I just can’t make sense of how we got from there to here
Once tied up and twisted was the way I liked to be
Now its my emotions stuck, jumbled up inside of me
I wish we could start over again We’ve been tossed overboard instead
Cast away are the things we once thought we’d forever cherish
Lost as my thoughts we are
Out at sea
Out of sight
Out like a light
Without a fight
Can’t let you swim around my head no more
Can’t kick you out of my dreams
Can’t kick you out of this store
Please tell me how it got so sore
How we lost it all and we still pretend everything’s ok
Tell me how
Tell me if we could do it over would you still ask
“Show your world to me”
Was it all just too much for you?
Quiet now
This relationship left lifeless
shhhhhh into me n I come into…..

My last unheard words.

I thought for a moment you were almost human, like you almost cared

I have no problem admitting I’m wrong, unlike you I’m not scared!

I know you don’t like being wrong in fact I’m sure you despise it.

So don’t mind if I take a minute to rewind it.

I’d like to point out just a wee thing or two wrong with you.

I realize now it’s not just me you lie to, we both know you lie to you too.

Don’t bother trying to convince me you were and are happy before and without me.

You do not trust, you doubt me.

The funny thing is you’re so stuck, it’s stupid.

Once long ago I saw it in your eyes, you too had been struck by that drunk prick Cupid.

You went thru my things seeking anything to use to fuel your fire of distrust!

At once I read your look of disgust.

You did everything in your power to tear yourself away.

What I don’t understand is why you think you have to pretend everything is okay.

For a few days a friend floated up from the past and you let your guard down.

I’ll admit it was actually kinda nice having him around.

For 3 amazing days you let me in, a place I knew you’d never let me be again let alone stay.

To allow yourself to be happy just isn’t your way.

I’d never seen you so happy before nor a glimpse even since.

If you won’t tell me, at least admit to yourself it was nice feeling the warmth of someone else.

You held my hand, danced fingers lightly on my skin, even snuggled in close that day we slept in.

I almost feel sorry for you, living in anger just to ensure no one can hurt you.

I’ve told you more than once and proved many times I am truly incapable of telling lies.

Sadly now even if you changed your mind, it’s too late cuz you already changed mine.

I would have loved you, put none above you.

Now it’s too late and I’m not sorry to say it’s too bad cuz I really did love you.

©Jan 27 2018

What Cha After?

What Cha After

How can one be so selfish, all the while believing everything done is selfless?

Never allowing a single soul to see the feels just to seem so truly alone and helpless

Its senseless at best, lying there claiming to be defenseless

Lies spread round here n there just until they’re scattered everywhere

No matter where we look or where we go, it’s not too late, as time passes they only grow

Pass along the message, right on down the line

Pay no attention to the static on the line, like staring thru the crosshairs: focus down the line

Is there a chance we can keep it straight, maybe not miss the target this time

Maybe not miscount or mislead, sharpen that tongue hun let’s hear your honesty

How bout you bow out cuz all your talking has done nuthin but fill me with doubt

Support? Na we all just suck we tend to let it all fall apart

Silently we stand alone claiming we’re all together

Silently we scream claiming we got it all together

And when none of us are united how are we expected not to fall

Realistically we are all just humans aren’t we al only after it all

Byte of the Apple

So misconstrued the idea of the ideal.

Misfits have no place here!

You can’t keep, there’s no space here!

Memories immobilized

Since when are these times to close our eyes?

Choosing not to see is no different than following blindly!

Masses of misinformed, misguided souls find their ways here.

They lie for days here,

Not realizing all they seek never stays here.

The truth my friends is not what pays here.

Lost are those iFound

Lost are those who’re iPhone bound.

Surmise Surprise

I can’t decide weather to love or despise

I am not surprised you’re fine in my demise

I can’t describe exactly how I feel inside

Are you happy now that all you got left is pride

I’m the darkness we both chose to hide though we chose not to do so side by side enter next line I’m so sorry for the havoc

I did warn you or at least I  tried

I just wish all those times you said you loved me I could believe that even once was not a lie

Life

Something so untamed, so unfair

Taken in the blink of an eye

Some call it a game, just playing away while it passes them by

None give it the fear it deserves

We are only here for the time we’ve been served

Yet not a single one received a sentence

No judge nor jury, let alone peers

All the while believing we could make a difference

See, we all play the waiting game unwittingly

Unwillingly torn away before our time

I look out at it the vast Blackness and I can’t help but wonder is this all there is?

Is this all there was, all there ever will be?

Then I smile and think maybe now he’s finally free

© 2018 Shavon Taylor 🍀CloversAllOver🍀

Obscenely Grey Day for Mike Casaway

I can’t believe he’s gone, not one easily replaced

The day we lost him, the whole world cried.

The rain poured down, just as the tears streamed my face

He lit up any room, awlays sparking the most colourful conversations.

Not so careful, I swear he loved the confrontations?

Never one to fall behind, his was more the power of persuasion.

Wise beyond his years, the man quite honestly surprised me daily.

A lover of games, he just loved to be at play

Always after the laughter.

His verbal linguistics made it damn near impossible to match wits!

He cared for the right reasons and shared more than just feelings, from ideas to ideals.

Always had a point to make and advice if you were smart you’d take!

Don’t let it get too dark now without his guiding light

We all know he’d want us all to fight thru it

I’ll admit I barely knew him and tho I loved him, he will always remain a mystery

To those of you lucky enough to really know him I know you’ll miss him just as much if not more than I already do.

He was taken from us far too soon.

💜

Factually Strained

There’s something about this man that makes me smile agaian

Something about him makes me want to be whole again

To pull myself out of this hole and try once again

Now all my words said I question,

Every move made I retrace

Suddenly he’s gone,

Leaving behind nothing more than an empty space

What’s going on?

It’s barely been a while, merely a couple of days

You wouldn’t believe how sincerely I want him near me

It almost scared me how quickly I fell for him

Worse how quickly my fear grew that maybe he withdrew

I recently told a close friend I wished I could meet someone on the same level of my insane or even crazy, then just maybe crazy or insane is not at all what he would see

Instead he might actually see me

No shame, no blame

We could just be this crazy team

No need to play the game to claim our glory

Almost completely in sync, or so I thought

Now I’m back to thinking I’m insane

Once again I’m trying to break up the fight

Which will win tonight?

My heavy heart or my weary brain?

I ask myself does it really matter?

Sitting quietly in the crashing rain

Thinking I can’t be the winner here

Merely patients stretching thinner dear

It can be so hard to look forward to the future when your path is unclear

For now I’ll await anything at all to distract me

From the thoughts of how much I wish when I’d found him I could have finally found it too

Can’t Get Me

I’ve waited for so long

How could it be I was so wrong?

All this time I thought you knew the words

All along in our heads 2 completely different songs

The lyrics don’t even resemble the ones I heard

I’ve grown tired of sleeping away my days and running through the nights

I know there is no escape for me so now I guess in turn there’s no escaping me

It’s true

Yearning is burning

The spark to ignite my soul, always searching

Something, damn near anything, just to fill the hole

The place in my heart

Where my dreams never went unheard

It is now nothing more than a mark

An etching that holds notions below the surface

Leaving the truth drowning in the ocean

Swollowing the darkend reality

I’m not afraid to face it

Just don’t wanna hafta fake

I can’t go on pretending everything will work out ok alrite?

Instead for now I’ll say good night and once again slip away from this reality

Back to the place where none shall ever judge nor come near enough to break thu

You can’t get to me

Live

Isn’t it funny how people just judge

Thinking they know you just on whats perceived

Act like they know you cuz of your scene

Like what goes on around you somehow defines you

Yep you best believe they’ll deny you

Based on all the gossip

What else do you expect them to see

The picture is painted long before the numbers where drawn

No one starts with a stripped canvas

No one’s blank

Blanketed inbetween the sheets

Of music, of rain, of paper

Wrapped in pain

Paint by numbers

Aren’t we all one in the same

Don’t we all lose the same in this game

Tell me your different, show me your truth

Out in the open quit trying to hide

Maybe the road, the price, the sacrifice is too high

We all hear the whispers, we all feel the shame, just the chosen few get out

The ones who deep down just knew

We all deserve freedom

We all make the choice

Those who take the time to see thru

Those who show love to any and all

They are the ones who realize for love you don’t have to fall

To win you might have to fail

We can chose to live for love and love to live

To forget and forgive every wrong

For those brave enuf to actually live

They are the ones who continue to live on LONG AFTER THEY’RE GONE

New Me

NewMeNew year means time for new you?

Isn’t that what we are all always saying?

Time to reflect, think of all the ways we consider ourselves imperfect.

Time to change, exchange all your bad for some new good

If I could convey one message, to the masses or even just a few

I’d tell you not to change a thing just keep on doin´ you

Forget about the prying eyes

Those who pass judgment will be the first to face it too

Not a single one of us is perfect nor should we aim to be

Don’t waste a single moment on the thoughts in someone else’s head

We have no control of that hamster wheel and they have no power no control over you unless you invite them in

If only we spent time, energy and money only on the things we should

If only we could walk away instead of followin´ the strays

All u gotta do is stay

When you get frustrated or you begin to doubt what it is your all about find a friend who can help, someone who allows u to talk yourself through

New year, new memories, new every thing if  you just allow it to be 

Mess Explained?

If you could see in my house

In case you don’t already know

How I keep it shows the level of my meantal clarity

Happy, healthy, light hearted and uplifting

Or down in the dirt, slingin’ the mud

Right at myself 

The more I hurt 

The more I hurt those around me

Like screw it 

They already knew it

I’ll be the first to jump in the mud

I’m in it like a stick 

Ya I’m stuck

Holdin’ on, head heavy 

No point movin’ on quick

On your mark get set, ready?

The fog is thick see that’s the trick

When it rolls me, when it enfolds me

Suddenly sold me on every lie

Tearing myself down 

Next I’m tearing up

On the flip, when I flick the switch

Stark against the sky

Goin’ way outdside the lines

Quick clever wit

Jump on in lets explore

Colder than the dark

Longer than the black

I wanna come back 

Just lacking the spark

Haven’t done nuthin’

Nuthin’s wrong ’round here

Until you look around my room

What’s goin on ’round here

You could never imagine the space

Holes you can see right thru

Like the soul of the excuse

The wisper of the pain 

Lifeless battery

Drained

Best

Blown outta proportion

Right outta range

Contemplated extortion, instead turning a new page

Leaving the bitterness in the blackness where it belongs

Breaking through the storm, ready to blow on 

Startin’ a fire just to watch it burn

Mustn’t forget there’s so much left to learn

Awakened

Awaiting the next turn

Bright blue skies, clear crystal eyes 

No more disguise

Hiding only hinders the healing heart 

Take advantage of the chance to make a change

Never expect perfection, never push too hard

Feel free to fold this hand, you can always draw a new card

The game is rarely easy, though it’s never really that hard

Remember to always love and to forgive 

Even when you know you could never forget

The last thing you want when looking back is to feel regret

 Heaven knows all we want ain’t always what we will get 

Funny

How life can knock you down

How someone can so easily pick you up

All it takes is a word or two, even just a small gesture can help to turn it around

In the same breath tho they can tear you right back down

No matter the intetion, no matter the content 

The words falling from lips you were just longing to kiss slice the thought rite outta yer brain

Where butterfly’s once gathered now empty, even of air

Hollow void, once again my castles gone

Wiped out  by the tide crashing down on my shores

I can’t watch again as it washes away yet again 

So on I go restarting the foundation, no point trying to repair

 or re-pair

Once again wadding in the ocean

I think I’ll leave the building for now 

Funny how we give up, funny how we just walk away 

Don’t watch while I suffocate the hatred 

You might see what I grow inside

For now I’ll lay back and relax maybe float on out to with that same tide

If you see me drifting too far out just think isn’t that funny that coulda been me

Eye Contend

I hide in plain sight, while I wish I were invisible

I remain completely untouchable, no I’m not invincible

Untraceable, unreachable though never unteachable

Playfully taunting, no I’m not a tease please understand

Coy remarks paired with the smile I weild, don’t you see these are my shield?

Not many do, so few gain even a glimpse of me

Those who do, know to always look me in the eyes

No matter the moment, the mood or subject matter my eyes will always betray me 

Learn to read the message sent, not to be rude but pay attention to looks I flash between the banter 

That glimmer of emotion is all you need to see right through me

The way I see through all of you

So few are clever enough to feel the weight of my glare

My gait, my smile, laughter, interest all so easily feigned

If you really want to read me, look me in the eyes and see how quickly you surmise

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

2 friends of mine are trying to win free tickets to Shambhala (if u don’t know what that is it is probably better that way so u won’t try to win the tix too lol)

***ALL U GOTTA DO IS CLICK LINK THEN LIKE Amanda Kennedys COMMENT {the one with pic above in it}***

Thanks in advance guys!

Amandas original msg to me:

Shambhala did a contest for two tickets that closes on Valentine’s Day and I was wondering if it’s possible for you to ‘like’ our photo? The link is here:

Dost Thou Need A Subject; Read Me

When I read your words I no longer know what to think.
Let alone how I feel, how alone I feel.
You checked out so long ago, I almost forgot to check in.
You speak of rain yet nothing of the drain, where all that wetness gathers
You dare not think of it washing over my feet,
it’s not over; tho we both feel defeat
Never was there deceit to cover what was between us.
Tho now I feel I’d almost welcome the comfort, under the numb.
Numb is one of the many things we never could agree upon.
I’ve never had a moment of it, tho I seek it everyday.
You’ve no need to seek it, you boldly live it in every way.
Can you really blame me for not seeing what you now say I mean?
I’m the same me I’ve been!
What say you now all powerful being?
The wolf among a flock of sheep?
The Sheppard to my lil Bo peeps?
What dost thou ask of me?
What shall I shell out now to tear thee back from hell?
Where for art thou Romeo?
Thine Juliet awaits, poison poised upon pursed lips,
Awating a kiss
Who am I trying to kid?
I am no Shakespeare, and you are no Hamlet!
No poison shall be shared!
Tho a kiss may just be enough to wake you.
I know not if it will be enough to take you,
from your long burning flame of anger and anguish.
I just wish….just wait and wish
Tell me love what dost thou say of this?
What dost thou ask of thee?

Remind To Confine

You think I say things  just to judge you?

You think you could look for one second past you?

I ain’t tryin’ to push or pull, not even nudge

I know better you won’t budge

You are the man that can’t be moved

So I just pass thru

I must have been confused,

in trying to get you to understand someone like me

If there were anyway to make you even see me,

I would have, please believe me

I don’t know what u saw then.

I don’t know what changed,

I don’t want to do this again.

Go ahead pace, just as your tiger;  you’re caged.

To busy hiding to remember the first time you saw my winged feet.

To busy now to take even a moment to hear me.

No more inquiring mind,

No more arches you seek.

No more love left to find,

Can u blame me now for feeling weak?

Bully’s Buddy

Some may be surprised to know I was picked on quite a bit in school. There are only 2 occasions I sort of remember. The only reason I remember these 2 occasions is due to me being the victor as well as telling the story a few thousand times. lol! Think about it really tho of literally hundreds of thousands of interactions loaded with rude comments and just plain mean things that were said I only vaugely remember 2.The reason  I am pointing this out is I have a much stronger more vivid memory of a Bully’s Buddy:

Years later, well after high school I was working at Subway making a sandwich for a customer when another walked in. I paused to say “Hello, I’ll be right with you” then turned back to the witty conversation we had been in the midst of. I’m not sure what was said but I can tell you we were having a good laugh, of course at no one’s expense. I then turned unknowingly, to Bully’s Buddy who asked “Your Shavon right? Shavon Taylor?  You went to Hope Secondary right?” I was surprised! I had thought I’ve never seen this guy before in my life but I said “Yep, that’s me!” With a huge smile. To whic he replied “I knew it was you I could tell by your laugh” those of u who know me know exactly what he meant and that he must have known me. I’m sure I looked extremely confused, mostly because I really was! He said “I don’t know if you remember me but I know you remember the guys I called friends, they quite often made fun of you, I never did! I never said anything mean, but I did laugh and I didn’t say anything to stop them either. It has really bothered me and I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry.” I couldn’t believe what was happening. I think I said “Thank you.” It brings tears to my eyes just thinkin about that day, I was completely blown away. I know he told me his name but I don’t remember it. I wish there were more people like this man in the world, or better yet ones who do exactly what this man wished he had. Stand up for anyone being treated unfairly, put an end to the cruelty and the nonsense until it’s no longer in existance! I want to thank my Bully’s Buddy from the bottom of my heart, I can’t even begin to explain the difference your words have made…not just for me hopefully you inspired more to stand up instead of falling into line. Maybe more children will do the right thing and less will have to grow up through a childhood like mine.

Just Me

I know most must think me thoughtless

When in reality honestly, I wish I just thought less

Judge not lest ye be judged?

I’m the one judging myself every day

Questioning my reasoning 

Puzzled beyond understanding 

In the light of day I’m outstanding

Very lil do I worry about what I say or do 

In the blanket of night my doubt is resounding 

When I turn out the light it begins

The internal fight, my eternal struggle

Attempting to quiet my numbing mumbling 

Next I’m annoying myself, thinking back remembering my off moments

That’s when it begins trying to retrace, to erase entire days 

Thinking of all the lil things, the stupid, silly, unimportant things

I’ve come to realize this process is unnecessary 

Who cares if I’m unruly, as long as I’m Me completely and truly 

I may make mistakes, so what

 I’m human 

So sue me

If you don’t like what you see then maybe that’s cuz you’re not really lookin at me

If you are then your just upset cuz you know I’m nothing like you 

I’m just Me

💚

The Line

I donno what goes throught your mind.

I donno what you think let alone how you feel.

I donno how to make it better, in fact I think I’ve failed each time I’ve tried.

If I told you I don’t need you, I’m tellin you right now I lied

If I told you I’m ok and then turned n walked away, you should know I cried. 

At the too of my stairs, wishin on stars made  no difference.

Find myself wishing I could escape this place.

Escape reality, break the confines 

Brightly irratic

I’m the color outside the lines

I have no power falling petal by petal just a delicate flower.

Loiked you in the eye, how could you have known I lied?

I gotta face the truth I’ll never be with you, you never were mine.

Just wanna see your smiling face around all the time.

If your wondering how I’m doin don’t ask just know I’ll be fine.

We both know it’s the end of the line. 

Bad Mix

When we first met planets aligned everything fell into place. Like we were the only ones not fast forwarding their race. The beginning is always sweet but with you…nothing had ever felt so right! Nothing in my life before you fit me so perfectly! Happiness growing with each new day. Who could have forseen the disaster to ensue. Who would have thought mixing a little wildfire with a tiny tormado could create such a stir. In the aftermath just looking around now nothing is at all natural. Nothing left untouched, we destroyed everything in our path while devouring each other. Suddenly  all the other stood for or believed in meant nothing to either of us any longer. Now I know this fact, for myself was a very rude awakening! I can’t imagine myself taking your needs, your desires, your regrets and putting them completely out of mind. I’m so sorry my darling, my dear! My intention was never to drive you so completely crazy! It’s no wonder you could no longer open your eyes at all to even attempt to see me! How could you when all you see is my everything everywhere. My mind, my world, it’s a disaster! The truth is I’m not ashamed, it’s too bad you couldn’t see past you may have found it was the same thing we were both after.

♡CloversAllOver♡

Care Fully

wp-image-1619756968jpg.jpgYou say you’re through, you’ve had enough.

You can no longer face it!

You say you’re heart’s gone cold.

You can no longer fake it!

Angry and bitter just hating the entire world.
You’re happy remaining faceless?

I know life’s hard, and I agree sometimes completely unfair.

Maybe it’s time to stopen acting and try to actually care

Care for yourself, forget everyone else!

It doesn’t matter what people think,  what you do is up to you!

Stop acting so damned helpless,  it’s okay to ask for help!

Remember you are NOT worthless!

Everyone makes mistakes, this is not the true test!

The best way to see the best in you is not in your misstep but in your recovery.

Not the slip, nor the slide, not even the the fall

What truly matters is getting back up!

The climb, the resistance to trouble, the sheer struggle!

None of this means much after all.

When you reach the peak, when you find the peace and the happiness you have for so long refused to seek.

Looking down, looking back at all you been through, everything you overcame.

Then looking out at all that now awaits you.

Breathless

Though not fom the climb or the torture you put your mind, body and soul through,

No, your breath is taken by nothing more than the view

Your future could be so bright if you just chose to light it up!

You can’t give in now, you can’t choose to loose

Imagine the stories you’ll have to share when looking back on this time from up there!

Imagone the courage the pure strength of will

All this insight and so much more for you to shate,

All I ask of you now is just CARE

Believe me when I say you can and you will feel like you understand  everything and everyone once you see the view from up there!

Fear

“It’s like I just turn off”

Your words, not mine

I just witnessed this power down mere moments after seeing me

Isn’t it supposed to work oppositely?

Instead of turning on, you flick off

Instead of lifting me up, you tear down

You think I do nothing but waste my…and your time

I don’t know if you noticed, but things are not fine!

Tho it may not show, deep down I’m a complete wreck

It’s like my insides are gnawing, feeding on me

Eating a hole so big, I’m surprised you can’t see right thru

I know I act so incredibly tuff and unbreakable, honey don’t you see this is my disguise?

You say you want to see beyond my mask?

Yet when I reveal the truth,  the pain

 Seems you only want to hide

I realize it’s not easy for you either

Pacing your cage, flashing eyes of a tiger

Meanwhile deeper and deeper digging into the dirt searching, reaching  like weeping willows

Tho my purpose for the water is only to wash away my tears

Can’t you see it’s the distance? 

I disdain, loneliness!

One of my greatest fears

Worst of all babe, lately I couldn’t feel more alone even when you’re right beside me

©Shavon Taylor 10/14/15                                                ♥Clovers All Over♥

Clovers All Over: Me and The Mental Map

***WARNING***

I do not claim to be a rapper, strange the things that come out when you just allow them to. When I wrote this I remember imagining that I was already famous, to be honest it usually isn’t very often I am this confident! It felt good though, really good to not only be proud of my work but surprised by it as well! I never expected to write something like this yet I’m VERY glad I did! Hope you enjoy! For those who don’t like explicit lyrics, you may want to skip this one, tho it may be worth the read…

Time to take this world by storm
Just wait ’till they  see what I got in store
Fakes n phonies just thrown to the floor
That’s rite I’m at the plate n it ain’t dinner time, nor commercial, industrial, nope not even coffee break
Imma crash down on…

View original post 396 more words

L♡VE

image

Love is truth, and love is magic
It’s behind every lil white lie
Love is ruthless, love is madness
It’s almost always the reason why
Love is blindness when you
thought you knew how to see
It’s the answer to every question unasked
Love is sound in complete and utter silence
It’s something you can give,
teach, share, even grow
Love is strong and love is weak
No matter the strength it’s the one thing we all seek
Love can’t be faked, nor
Is it something one could take
It’s in everyone yet it can get right under your skin
Love can hold you together, make you want to run away, or even be the reason you stay
So elusive at times you feel you’ll never win
Love is completely mad, simply drive you insane
If you could you’d give it all up for just one kiss in the pouring rain
Deeper than your darkest fear, closer than your very best friend
Love is the sweetest emotion you could ever hope to know
It’s what makes me a mess, pulls me apart, sometimes tears me right in 2
Love is just the beginning,
And truthfully I’m really not sure I desire to know the end

Halloween

Hall ‘o’s eve
Oh hallowed eve
Hollow is this this evening
Paint dripping from my face, quick paced away from this place
Internally screaming
Eternity haunting, grieving
Leaving
Unfeeling
I’m reeling
So deceiving, no descriptions 
New prescription, yet no healing
Barely breathing this hallowed hollow evening
Awaited invitation
Perceived pain revealing a darkend  endless swirling ceiling
On the floor want this hurt no more
Pawing, clawing, crawling
Hall ‘o’s eve not naive
I felt you leave me this hallowed hollow howled evening

Giving Thanks

Giving thanks for the encouragement, every step along the way
For the times you held my hand when you must have wanted to slap my face
For the non-judgmental ear and for disproving each and every fear
For the enlightenment during the darkest paths
For never giving up or giving in, tho giving all you had to help me win
For always following thru, never letting me down
For ignoring all the times I was blind, as I see clearly now
For always reminding me to look up at the horizon when I wanted to fall to the ground
For the times you steered me vertically, where ever you chose to lead I knew it was to keep from hurting me
For knowing one day I would realize the reasoning behind all you’d done, knowing none of it was ever done in vain
For every deep breath and every tear shed that you reminded me only washed away the pain
For saving me from the entire world when I thought I was merely some lost forsaken soul
For spinning me around and round, tho not to make me dizzy; but to keep me busy when I just wanted to run away
For not holding me back, or tying me down and for every bit of love I have ever found
I thank you for always being true and always being you
Lastly I thank you for loving me and always allowing me to be just that
Just me
©2015 Shavon Taylor                 ♥Clovers All Over♥

Miss The Abyss

Shed away all the madness It’s time to taste bliss

A moments hesitation creates only a chance to flee

Forget the silly notions of picture perfect proclivity

Letting it stop, considering the possibility

Merely tears open the abyss

That solitary secret, silence swirling seductively

Orbiting convoluted conscience, not allowed to see

Smoke screen, sweet scene, losing lucidity

Nightmares vs. Daydreams

Or could this be, the real thing staring back at me?

Trust in me as I trust in you

The rush of each kiss, washes away all doubt

The warmth in every embrace, a summery wind upon my face

You grant each and every wish, while I am at your whim

Tiger like territoriality, come take a bite outta me

The beauty beheld in our future, I cannot wait to see

©2015 Shavon Taylor                                    ♥CloversAllOver♥

Unperfected

A wrecking ball comes crashing through

Tearing down all the walls around you

A life altering step forward or downward falter

It depends on how you look at the land

Do you see what could be or hold on to the memory of what use to stand

Do you shed light on the darkness or dwell on what you miss

Would you choose to love those you have hurt or hurt those that you love

In the garden do you play in the dirt or would you prefer gloves

Rainy days I swear are the best, no silence to be found

Do you enjoy or protest, soaking up the sounds or search for dry ground

So much you can tell of a person by what causes their misery

So hard to tell fairy tales from mysteries

We’ve all got our story, our own version of perversion

If we could all just remember the past is history and each day is a chance to make happier memories

Maybe we’d all be just a lil more carefree

©2015 Shavon Taylor                                    ♥CloversAllOver♥

Life Of The Unknown

A whole new life awaits just around the bend

Beware of the jagged rocks scattered throught the trail

Low hanging vines threaten to strangle your sight

Sure footing the only way to continue forward

The key to making it happen?

A stable foundation, knowing where you stand

All the while never sure where the path may lead

Hopping from one moment to the next

Seeking stability in each step

Every hand reaching from the darkness has it’s own agenda

It’s own mark to leave in your past

Some lifting, gliding, guiding palms

Others crushing, punching, punishing fists

Watch your step,

Potholes and landmine plague this field of dreams

A moment’s hesitation could seal your fate

Thoughts so easily slip away like sand in the wind

Time drifts away in the breeze

All swirling, whirling, confused and confined within itself

Memories bottled on a shelf slowly growing dust

All mashed together to form a surprisingly elegant collage

A single frame to contain all of them seems impossible

A tight squeeze to say the least

Instead they become lost moments once held so dear

Locked away in the darkest corners of our minds

Leaving us lost to the emotions of our hearts

We all find a seat in the empty hall for now,

knowing we will be called soon

Empty, void of all answers

Only questions remain in this Life Of  The Unknown

©2015 Shavon Taylor                                         ♥CloversAllOver♥

For Instance

You say you’re so inspired but they know you’re wired

First you’re hired then you’re fired

Ignoring the truth as it’s transpired

Hey, maybe you’re just too tired,

Maybe you‘re transfixed

You heard the alarm sound don’t try and say you were unwarned

The only cyclone you see tho is the one you’re spinning in your own mind

Still it seems the questions dangle alongside you unanswered

Eyes blood-red, rage blurring vision enough to fake being blind

Isn’t it easier when we work things out as a team

If you could just take the time to lend a hand, even to just think about a few people other than you

When you put others first you may be amazed at the things a friendship can do

If you don’t like my blueprints I should remind you it’s possible that what you see now may be ugly

Really all you need to do is change your point of view

Like that long debated question: half empty or half full?

Tell me; how do you see your cup?

Still bitter, still angry maybe a little confused?

Try not  to decide too fast

When considering the future try not to focus too acutely on the past.

Does the rain of yesterday determine tomorrow’s forecast?

You can decide what comes next, it’s not all up to fate

Believe me I’ve been there, yes I can relate

There were many times I wouldn’t even step near the plate

Instead I chose to start over, clean slate

Pushed away the frustration of the loss

Started working to gain ground, stopped worrying so much about the cost

Got back in the game, like a boss!

Not planning on playing for keeps but sure, I’ll give that ball a toss

Negativity is nonsense,

A smile can make a world of difference

Suddenly your cares are a million miles away and you didn’t even notice the distance

Turning around to realize a near perfect existence

All it took was a different angle and a touch of persistence

Make yourself happy tho, that you should always do, keep in mind my words are just for instance

©2015 Shavon Taylor CloversAllOver

Decypher Me

He thinks my attention is momentary  

Best way to attain it he believes is merely negative means

He sees me as a cynic, a dreamer too afraid to dream

Claims I’m hurtful and hateful,with a hole where my heart should be

Moment by moment his opinion changes of me

He expects changes from me, lays it out truthfully unknowing of the pain inflicted so cruelly

Trying to help me without tying me down, tearing me down

Unfairly I expect him to know how much my choices already weigh

Unjustly I only want for him to trust me

Pushing or pulling, none will ever move me

My emotions flash and flare with each flick of wind

Sadly sharing its strength with his words,

Each linguistic blow knocks that same wind from my sails

Stuck as the water grows stale, stagnant

The sweet salty air becomes sour, sticky, sickly

I’m finding it hard then harder to breathe

If only he knew how badly I need for him to just believe

Not to cast stones nor remind me of my crutches nor falls and fails

How could he not see, I am aware if I continue this way I may never grow

No need to point out my flaws, that’s not the attention I crave nor desire

His affection I wish could be my only infection,

Instead I’m left licking salt from my freshly healing wounds at his discretion

It may seem I don’t care, or ever plan to change

The truth is my dear; far, far more strange

I love that you make me feel loved,

You remind me of how it felt to be happy

I appreciate you showing me opportunity in all that could be

Just please; I beg of you when you do, to do so kind and gently

I understand it pains you to see me destroying my self,

Bear in mind though I do so very well already

All by myself

Realistically I am in no need of help

©2015 Shavon Taylor CloversAllOver

Reconditioning Me Too

What may not make a difference to most may make a world of difference to a few

It’s all in personal preference, honestly just how are you to know

I only wish more would attempt to gain a sense of what’s important 

Everyone has their own ways, those little things that drive them insane or may leave them feeling incomplete

Some it seems even claim these as “needs” and declare it to be set in stone

One may actually come completely undone, demanding you must learn

Sure to set the tone voicing with contempt, their disgust of your utter disregard or unconcern

An entire day may suffer for the underestimation of importance of such seemingly petty things

In this particular instance how could you have known the significance

Suddenly they’ve got you walking a wire without a hint of realization

For you something so superficial or miniscule would make not a bit of difference

No reason you should suffer consequence for a specification you were never even shown

You should not be held accountable for others lack of sharing, it’s not for lack of caring

Sadly not having the knowledge of their requirements was through no fault of your own

If they seem to be unstable; if words spoken when they protest lack tact, no manners shown

If they start tearing u to shreds with merely a vehement voice maybe it’s time to tell them to go home

No need for u to heed such anger nor to accommodate such impossible requests when they become so irate

Ignore the frustration wrongfully directed at you and say “Sorry friend that’s the best I can do”

©2015 Shavon Taylor ♥CloversAllOver♥

Unrivaled

Take care when you unravel. 
Take care when you lift the veil.
See the storm swirls so ravenously,
Yet you hold the power to unravel me. 

A wife you may see so,
Do so tenderly when you lift that veil.
I will not lie and say I am not a mess.
Truth be told, I am everything I am meant to be!

I do not try to love you,
This comes o so naturally.
Do not be scared to see me
Do not fear you can not save me, 
For you already have!

Unravelled, unveiled, unbelievably,
You already understand how to stand beside and behind me!

So take care when you take me,
For when you do you will forever have ALL of me!

Untrained

Imperfection meets impurity?

Binded or blinded, it’s insecurities to which we are bound

Losing sight or losing grip?

It’s all the same just another slip

A slight misstep or a complete free fall

Does it honestly matter after all?

We should be looking forward expectantly instead we focus on all we lack

Refusing to remember reflectively, must we tear everything apart dissectingly?

Decisively deciding each choice made was not chosen but was inevitability

Can we not see the goodness left, only all that has been destroyed?

Change isn’t always for the best tho sometimes you’d be surprised

Just remember you’re not so different from the rest, nor are you the same

©2015 Shavon Taylor “CloversAllOver”

Except Me

Seems we’re always caught in some old struggle

Same long list of problems we keep tryin’ to juggle

Never thinkin’ maybe to eliminate a few

Nope instead we try to imitate the rest of you

No time to actually investigate the view

Only lookin’ for what it takes just to make it thru

Letting love and life intimidate until intimate moments become so few

No guide against which to judge exactly what the tone meant

Instead I’m stuck watching butterflies flutter by with my x-ray vision

This resembles no part of what I envisioned

All that I’ve come to know so well, and absolutely adore

I see thru now and I must say it somehow sickens me

Those butterflies become moths eating away at me

I search and I wish to see a glimpse of the loving feeling yet it is of no more

It’s not merely my heart but my sanity and serenity I’m no longer sure I can restore

Here and now at my worst you will not accept me?

Then when I finally reach my best I would suggest you not expect me

○©2015 Shavon Taylor “CloversAllOver”

Always Mean It

Isn’t it amazing how one voiced perception can sway so many in a completely different direction?
Some try to make it seem easier to follow offering infinite protection
Assuring you that you shall never again feel or fear that cruel sting of rejection
They won’t ask much, no one expects perfection
“So long as you listen closely, do things exactly the way I say you will find no need for correction”
So easily some are entangled in their webs of deceit
Having you believe you’re winning when in reality you’ve unwittingly accepted defeat
Who could have known all alone you might feel more complete
Sadly I’ve come to realize I can rarely trust smiling faces I meet
Don’t forget each and every one of us is unique
Unfortunately there are so few left who have remained, who did not retreat
The ones you know you can always count on in your time of need
Those amazing few left unconsumed by the greed
There with only a moment’s notice, not a single hesitation nor a second wasted waiting for you beg or plead
The ones who not only mean what they say but say exactly what they mean

A Piece of Peace

I wonder how I’ve stayed in the game so long

So incredibly strong when the effort is made so others will hold on

How can I be so meek and weak when it’s help for me I seek?

How can helping others initiate my self-destruct sequence?

If I were more like them and only cared about myself would it help, would it even make a difference?

Why is it so easy to hide our pain from the rest of the world?

Why is it I’m always confined to the rain, where my hair like this twisting rd is curled?

A complete mess, still I separate myself from the rest

I know without doubt I could pass any test

My will cannot be broken; my soul will never be barred

I’ve had my fill this time, I’m not jokin’

It’s beginning to take its toll

I refuse to let it carry on it’s already gone too far

The end of this game is near,

I know this that’s why I have no fear

I could so easily do this on my own

Aren’t you aware my mere mood sets the tone?

You will see my powers, I know my effect

Yet no one brings me flowers, still I get no respect

Left to simmer on the back burner, a lil disturbed all this time I’ve gone unstirred

Alone awaiting new arrivals

These times are all about survival

Everyone believing they only need to make it out

Don’t have the time nor feel the need to know what it’s all about

You can’t learn it all too fast

Before you know it you’ll have realized your life has passed

Take the time, enjoy the small pleasures

Forget finding a way all can be measured

The answers aren’t always exactly the ones you seek to find,

Sometimes what matters is just the journey thru your own mind

Take every opportunity to share the wealth of your knowledge

You never know, you just might be helping someone climb down from that ledge

We can only take so much before we start to lose touch

If we would all just help one another instead of fight

They say we won’t find world peace, but who knows we just might

Better

Ignorance and arrogance together make for a frightening foe

Persistence combined with your resistance makes for a tiresome show

If only these infuriated children would take the time to grow

There’s so much in this world none of us know

Though it seems futile trying to make some one wake up let alone see

Seems there are just too few people out there like me

The one’s you just know when you need will be right there to care

Then eternally claiming we are the ones you can’t scare

I wear my invisible invincibles each and every day

I must admit I often wish there was another way

Can’t we finally put an end to all the fights, maybe go outside to play?

Can’t we all let go of our insecurities, stop running the other way, even just once find the courage to stay?

To hold it all together is sometimes harder than you might think

So many of us are out on that ledge, too bloody close to the brink

Just one wrong move and you’ll find your self back in a free fall

So rarely we attempt to lend a hand , too afraid we might fall from our own walls

Why must we choose to keep all our feelings inside?

Why is it we feel safest when we choose to hide?

Could it truly be that people just don’t care enough?

Or do we really think secrets or deception make us look tough?

I really doubt it makes you stronger bottling it all up

Going it alone makes it a bit harder to get back up

Life shouldn’t have to be so damned hard

The best way to win is with a team, everything could be just exactly the way we dreamed!

© Shavon Taylor 2013 “Cloversallover”

No Escape

Laughing lightly as they try to fight me

Don’t they know I’ll never truly leave them be?

I will haunt them in their nightmares and their dreams

They will wake frightened by their own screams

Let your whole world fall into my hands

I’ll let it slip slowly through my fingers like times sands

Lost but never lonely cuz ya always got me

Rarely did you come by choice; most of you in fact were brought to me

Handed over like you had no free will

No choice, just wouldn’t listen to that inner voice

Maybe that’s why your here still

Here I will hold you for as long as I can

No escaping me, don’t matter how far you ran

You need more will power than you got

If only you were earlier taught

Maybe you were, maybe you merely forgot

I wish you luck

Try to get rid of me I laugh ha f*ck…

©2014 Shavon Taylor

It Is What It Is? (I cannot stand this saying!!)

Isn’t it amazing how one voiced perception can sway so many in a completely different direction?

Some try to make it seem easier to follow offering infinite protection

Assuring you that you shall never again feel or  fear that cruel sting of rejection

They won’t ask much, no one expects perfection

“So long as you listen closely and do things exactly the way I say, you will find no need for correction”

So easily some are entangled in their  webs of deceit

Having you believe you’re winning when in reality you’ve unwittingly accepted defeat

Who could have known all alone you might feel more complete

Sadly I’ve come to realize I can rarely trust the smiling faces I meet

Tho I try not to forget each and every one of us is unique

Unfortunately there are so few left who have remained sweet

The ones you know you can always count on in your time of need

Those amazing few left unconsumed by that terrible greed

They’re there with only a moment’s notice, not a single hesitation nor a single second wasted waiting for you beg and plead

The ones who not only mean what they say, but always say exactly what they mean

© Shavon Taylor 2014

The more I hear people say this the more it bothers me! It is what it is? How about it is whatever you make of it!!!!!

Who the F*ck are You?

Time to take this world by storm

just wait till they  see what i got in store

Fakes n phonies just thrown to the floor

That’s rite I’m at the plate n it ain’t dinner time, not commercial, industrial, nope not even coffee break

Imma crash down on em all so f*ckin hard you’ll feel thunder shake the earths core

Next comes lightning flash so brite ya lose sight

blinded, so now how u think you gonna fight?

My fame’s gonna spread like a bad rash

Albums passed ‘round like free cash

Everybody wants their piece of my sweet sweet pie

Guess what b*tches none of y’all were there

Not quite fair you didn’t see me n my inevitable fate

I bet sum people even getting a lil irate cuz ya just didn’t stack up

Now you’re claiming you’re rite there,

Like now your my back up?

Too good for me then, or just too f*ckin soup solid pretendin’ to be friends?

In reality you just had your backs up

You didn’t stand up when ya heard em talkin’ sh*t

That’s ok tho, that’s when I was busy writn’ this sh*t

News flash:

I don’t give a f*ck ‘bout you

Sure i did then, back when i thought you saw the power in me

Na, powerless more like what you thought of me

Instead you just tried taken advantage of me

Funny thing is:

Good things come to those who wait

Treatin’ me like lower class, trailer trash or better yet just 2nd rate?

Not once did you offer to clear your plate,

Banquet hall sittin’ in front of me then

Now you come to me wantin’ your just desserts?

Most of y’all ain’t gonna like it…

Mud pie extra worms

F*ck sum of you i’d pay to watch eaten ‘em while they squirm

You just laughed while u watched me fall

Well now how bout you try n uncry all those tears? Nope!

It’s exactly what you feared

This sleeping beauty just woke the f*ck up

Grabbed a Hoover n sucked her sh*t up

Many ppl who claim they knew me back when, they never knew me

N I aint givin’ another clue out for free

I was an open book to anyone who’d listen as I was trying to find myself

Now I remind myself, I  did it by myself and I’d do it again

true i’ve f*cked up ain’t saying that’s why I’m proud

Everyone slips, sum stumble sometimes even crumble

Maybe just for now I forgot to be humble but nows my time to shine so I think it’s Okay…

act like you knew me?

WHO THE F*CK AM I TODAY?

 

©2014 Shavon Taylor

Family Tree

Where problems seem apparent,
May not mean it’s all relative
If for a second you feel the need to seek help don’t give it a 2nd thought
I’ll take your hand, I’ll pull you back up
If we both stretch and still I cannot reach worry not for I’ll find you a branch
It rarely is as hard as it may seem, especially if we work as a team
Brother, sister, friend you’re of the same worth to me
I’ll do everything in my power to make your wish my will
I’ll catch you falling right out of the sky or just out of this family tree
Whomever, whatever it is you seek you will always find faith in me
I’ll fight fire with water from your “Dark Sea”
Fear will be all that drowns today
I will help you to see it can’t continue on this way
Even if I have to carry you I promise you we will make it thru to a new day

©2014 CloversAllOverShavonTaylor

Trade a lil Luck for a lil Love?

Trade a lil Luck for a lil Love?

The first 30 people to donate here

http://www.gofundme.com/75ey64

and email me their mailing address here

PleaseHelpLeiland@groups.facebook.com

will receive

A REAL 4 LEAF CLOVER

that I personally picked on St. Patty’s day this year and have since dried in one of my writing books! Not all 30 were picked at the same time, so those ones will go to the most generous donations, the rest have been picked throughout the last year from All Over the Map, see I find Clovers All Over, but I also have Clovers All Over Me!

Please Help Leiland get to Children’s Hospital

Lieland is 3 years old and suffers from epilepsy, his Mother (my friend and ex co-worker) Sheena suffers from SSMS: Struggling Single Mom Syndrome. In all seriousness she is having a very hard time not only coping with the diagnosis of her son, but now the actual act of getting him to and from the hospital for MRI scans and specialist appointments.

She lives over an hour drive from said hospital. The worst part for her is now depending on others to get herself and her children safely there and back. Sheena is a very independent person, who generally won’t let anything stand in her way of remaining so. She could walk or bus where ever she needed to get with her boys until now. There is a fine she couldn’t afford to pay off a couple of years ago due to the SSMS. She had almost completely forgotten it existed.

Now the insurance company has piled on mass amounts of interest to the already too expensive fee she already has to pay! She has been paying it off for 7 months and the amount owed has only gone down $800. She still owes over $2000 so as you can see at this rate it won’t be paid off for almost 3 years!

She was given a day notice that her son was scheduled for an MRI March 22nd. She got a ride with a family member there, when they arrived tho Leiland had a seizure forcing them to put the MRI off and almost meaning they had to spend the night in the hospital. When they were finally given the ok to go home Sheena called her friend who was going to pick her up earlier without realizing said friend had to work, she was planning to pick them up, drop them off then head straight to work. Sheena and her boys then waited for their ride at the hospital for 5 Hours!

For those of you who saw my previous post on the same topic, thank you for yet again reading this one. I have no job no money at all, I can’t offer much help in that respect. What I do have is my blog, my Google+, Tumblr, my Facebook Page and Group, as well as a Facebook Group I just started for Sheena, my Twitter account, my website with her Gofundme account link to share on every one!

If you can’t afford to donate you can still help,

PLEASE Like, Share, Re-blog, Re-post, Re-Tweet, Join the page and invite others, whatever it takes to get the people who can help to see it!

http://www.gofundme.com/75ey64

^^The link to donate^^

https://www.facebook.com/groups/PleaseHelpLeiland/

^^The Facebook group^^

I wanted to personally thank D.J. Whisenant from thesewordsiwrite2012.wordpress.com for the one and only share I am aware of from my last post via Twitter, tho I believe he has now shut that account down in hopes to have a more personal connection with people or I would share the link to that as well. I do like the idea tho of more personal connections so good on him!

Thanks everyone and God bless!

Pick Your 4 Leaf Clover Contest

Is Today your lucky day? 

We are about to find out in the 

Pick Your Lucky 4 Leaf Clover Contest

The winners will be picked at random and you will get to pick your own clover from the collection displayed below. From one’s I picked so long ago that have been dried in my writing books then later placed with good copies of my poems to ones that are literally still growing in the ground that I will personally hand pick for you! The best part is along with your lucky clover you will also recieve a personalized autographed copy of your choice of my poems, found here or at cloversallover.com Good Luck everyone and have a safe and insanely awesome St. Pat’s **$2 Entry fee CAD FREE Shipping ** Check out the link for more pictures

***WARNING***

I do not claim to be a rapper, strange the things that come out when you just allow them to. When I wrote this I remember imagining that I was already famous, to be honest it usually isn’t very often I am this confident! It felt good though, really good to not only be proud of my work but surprised by it as well! I never expected to write something like this yet I’m VERY glad I did! Hope you enjoy! For those who don’t like explicit lyrics, you may want to skip this one, tho it may be worth the read…

Time to take this world by storm
Just wait ’till they  see what I got in store
Fakes n phonies just thrown to the floor
That’s rite I’m at the plate n it ain’t dinner time, nor commercial, industrial, nope not even coffee break
Imma crash down on em all so f*ckin hard, you’ll feel thunder shake the earths core
Next comes lightning flash so brite ya lose sight
Blinded, so now how u think you gonna fight?
My fame’s gonna spread like a bad rash
Albums passed ‘round like free cash
Everybody wants their piece of my sweet, sweet pie
Guess what b*tches none of y’all were there
Not quite fair, you didn’t see me n my inevitable fate
I bet sum people even getting a lil irate cuz ya just didn’t stack up
Now you’re claiming you’re rite there,
Like now your my back up?
Too good for me then, or just too f*ckin soup solid pretendin’ to be friends?
In reality you just had your backs up
You didn’t stand up when ya heard em talkin sh*t
That’s ok tho, that’s when I was busy writn’ this sh*t
News flash: I don’t give a f*ck ‘bout you
Sure I did then, back when I thought you saw the power in me
Na, powerless more like what you thought of me
Instead of help you just tried takin’ advantage of me
Funny thing is: Good things come to those who wait
Treatin me like lower class, trailer trash or better yet just 2nd rate?
Not once did you offer to clear your plate
Banquet hall sittin’ in front of me then,
Now you come to me wantin’ your just desserts?
Most of y’all aint gonna like it…Mud pie, extra worms
F*ck sum of you I’d pay to watch eatin ‘em while they squirm
You just laughed while u watched me fall
Well now how bout you uncry those tears?
Nope! It’s exactly what you feared
This sleeping beauty just woke the f*ck up
Grabbed a hoover n sucked her sh*t up
Many ppl who claim they knew me back when, they never knew me
N I aint givin’ another clue out for free
I was an open book to anyone who’d listen as I was tryin’ to find myself
Now I remind myself, I did it by myself and I’d do it again 
True I’ve f*cked up ain’t saying that’s why I’m proud
Everyone slips, sum stumble sometimes even completely crumble 
Maybe just for now I forgot to be humble, but now is my time to shine so I think it’s Okay, like you knew me? 
Who the f*ck am I today???

Cloversallover.com

Who The F*ck Are You?

Ever After?

How do you continually say such hurtful sh*t?

Next you apologize then I’m just supposed to forget?

Like it all just goes away?

How can you say you don’t mean the things you say, 

When you say the exact same as you said yesterday?

How can you say you love this person you so venomously describe?

How can you spit such hate, while looking me dead in the eyes?

How do you believe you love me when all other evidence proves you’re beginning to hate me?

Why is it such torture when we are together?

Who am I trying to kid, when we’re apart it ain’t much better

Every breath, every moment, every word seems to go completely unheard, unnoticed

Underestimated is the pain of such misunderstandings

Tell me, honestly if we haven’t figured out how to be happy together yet, do you think we ever can be?

If we still spend every night like this will you ever attempt to understand me?

I realize nothing I do seems right to you,

I do things a lil differently than most I’ll admit

To be completely fair tho, it’s not like I kept it a secret

What is it you used to love about me?

​Did I somehow change so immensely, or did you just finally let go of trying to make me the person you think I ought to be?

Once you say something you can’t just take it back

There’s always some truth behind it, no matter how hard the attack

Some I wish you could undo tho because they feel like the sharpest knives in my heart and trying to slice right thru

My heart that’s where you generally aim your linguistic sword, always going for the kill shot

Each blow hurts so much more than you may have thought 

Yet I get back up, trying to hold on only to be pushed back down again

Fighting so f*cking hard to just ignore the pain while refusing to show my shame

I truly am so lost you know, no matter how hard I look I rarely seem to find my way anywhere

Do you really think I float so freely thru life, nothing in my head but air?

If only you could peek inside and see all these damn thoughts weighing down on me

I’m like a chameleon always in the background, seeming to blend right in

I just can’t keep up the fight any more, it’s really beginning to look like neither one ofus will ever win

Hurting each other instead over and over,

every day and every night

Aren’t you tired from this fight, 

because honestly it looks like there’s no end in sight

©2014 Clovers All Over

River Rock Walkin’

Down by the river pickin’ up some heart rocks
No music, just a few friends, even fewer talks
Serenity sensationally silencing, surprisingly
Lost in awe, thoughts contained, far from drained
Energy in fact picking up with the winds whim
Worries turn to wonders
While the wisdom washes away all cares
Nothing like the feeling of the crisp morning air
Chills to the bone like ripples around the crashing waves
Almost reminiscent of more youthful days
Soft soothing sloshing sounds slowly seeping in subconsciously
Finding myself reminding myself not to listen too intently
So easily I can get lost in my own thoughts
The mind almost begging for the change in the air to rub off
Hours can pass as quickly as the clouds
If I get caught in a daze
Sometimes it’s hard to see thru the misty morning haze
Even on some of the clearest days
©2014 Shavon Taylor @ Cloversallover.com

Forgotten Forest

I wonder if you seek your happiness in the same way I seek mine

With such cold calculation realizing there is none there to find

Saying with such pride “I’m ready to change”

In similarity do you too hide?

Afraid to accept a challenge, too timid to rise to your feet?

Too embarrassed and ashamed to ever admit defeat

“I’m in control of my life and what I say goes”

Somehow find it hard to shake that dreadful feeling that maybe you’re wrong

 Or worse, maybe it shows

Hiding in anger for its so easy to find

All that’s needed is to press rewind Enough fuel to feed the fire and keep it burning hot

Haunted by the past even by some things you thought you forgot

You never know tho when they just might reappear

From the foggy forgotten forest, to the cripplingly crystal clear

That sad actuality that each cold and empty nite  is exactly what you chose

Loneliness lingers longer than laughter

Especially when you feel it right down to your toes

​©2014 Shavon Taylor  CloversAllOver.com

Wild Smile

Isn’t it funny the way life twists and turns?

So unsure of all those who lurk around

Can every face I meet some how be impure?

I can’t help but notice the pressure, the weight on every set of shoulders I see

I wish there were a way for me to lift off that stress

To make it feel like all the worlds troubles just weighed less

Tho how would life look if we all floated around weightless

A world full of air heads who couldn’t care less?

To walk the journey without feeling the rain can you imagine?

What then would make us realize our worth?

For without struggle there would be no victories

No accomplishments, not a single thing would make sense

Still I’m stuck here seeing these upset faces,

These Ghosts that have taken conscience places

Blank stares, lost with no dreams

Still I beg of you how can I help?

For without conscience you won’t stop, 

Without dreams you’ve no goals

Nothing to aim for 

Nothing to push you that extra inch, or often that mile

The one and only thing I have found,

That makes even the smallest difference to the people standing on either side of the fence

Is a smile

My smile I swear has impossible powers

It’s as though those around me can’t help but to join me

No matter their current status, famed or feared

My smile is one to be revered

For a brief second everyone’s worries just disappear 

If only for that quick hello, or head nod, even mere eye contact becomes some sort of smile contract

Love me or hate me you simply couldn’t stop the muscles if you tried

Don’t think you too can’t change the world in some small way too,

Simply be sincere with every smile and let your heart shine through

Watch as even the darkest souls smile back at you

©2014 Shavon Taylor  CloversAllOver.com

Changing Spots Don’t Stop

Stalled, distracted, annoyed yet not destroyed

Just a lil perturbed, no calls?

Won’t react let it all fall away instead and just take this time to play

Stressing and worrying

Debating and contemplating

STOP

In my head thoughts swirl while in my hair my finger twirls

BOUNCE

I’m ready to pounce

This kitty cat’s on the prowl

What sound will you stir from her, a pleasured purr or a playful growl

Will you give her creepy chills or will she show you her sneaky thrills

Either ways she’s quite a cheeky girl

She’s sleek and she’s slick

Quick quips slip from her lips

When you approach you’re unsteady and unsure

Will she let you pet her, are your intentions pure?

Does she really even care, who knows she might just take you right there

Duality for which she can’t be blamed

One side reserved and refined, the other just unruly, she’ll never be tamed

Which of her 9 lives will you have the pain or pleasure to endure?

Will you accept the challenge of this changeable cheetah?

If you wish to say yes, I do hope you’re sure

©2014 Shavon Taylor

Cloversallover.com

Aching Acres

Windless whispers

Rustling sound of hushed secrets

Lost in the dusk

That twilight hour Before night gives way to black darkness

The scariest time of all

Lone dew drop in a desert

The last chance of survival

Can’t let those big fish swallow you no

So small and insignificant you  seem imaginatively

Immensely winding woods

Tightly knit forest of dreams

Thoughts pop to memories

New beginnings from sad endings

A fog has drifted, dispersed

Slowly slippin on this slope

Up about it all I will float

Looking down, wondering, hoping, considering

Change is in the breeze

Change no longer a disease

Shifting slightly, Walking, talking lightly

Letting it all just fall

This time it must work

This time I’ll find the answers to it all

©2014

http://cloversallover.com/legend–key-.html

Please help Sheena get her son to and from Children’s Hospital

This is my friend Sheena and her 2 boys. I have known Sheena for a couple years now and I have to say she is one of the sweetest most caring and compassionate women and mothers I have had the pleasure of knowing. I noticed her status on Facebook the other day requesting help with making a page. Her eldest son was diagnosed in September 2013 as an epileptic and has had 4 seizures since. She needs to be able to get her self and her son from Chilliwack B.C  to see a specialist at least every couple months in The Children’s Hospital in Vancouver B.C. (For those of you who don’t know that is an hour and a half drive)

Her problem is trying to pay her car insurance off. She has been making payments for 7 months now and sadly has yet to make a dent. The interest is the killer, every payment made seems to go almost unnoticed in the grand scheme of things. She is hoping that she can get enough together to try and make ICBC an offer they will accept, they are known to accept a great deal less than what is owed if offered a large lump sum payment.

As you may or may not know I was working on building my Facebook page’s audience as well as kick-starting my website. So I knew a little bit about what she needed to do so I messaged her right away! I started the page for her and then added her to the admin team. (Go figure in the process completely confusing my Facebook widgets both here on WordPress and on Facebook. lol)  Thankfully someone suggested a gofundme.com account because I had no idea how to go about actually collecting money, all I could do is get her out there and hopefully help her get noticed.

I was actually thinking to auction off a couple autographed poems with real four leaf clovers that I have found along the way and dried out in one of my writing books, but I’m not really sure how to go about that either, any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

If you would like to help Sheena you can donate here http://www.gofundme.com/75ey64

I realize too that times are tough and some are finding it hard making ends meet themselves, to those of you I say if you want to help there is still a way!!!

Please Like, Share, Re-blog, &/or Re-post the more people who see this the more likely one is going to be able to help!

Thanks everyone for your support and kindness in advance.

Mr.Sun

Let this sun brighten your thoughts today and every day

Let him brighten not just your thoughts but also the words you say

Always remember no matter how dark your day may seem,

All it takes is the smallest ray shining through your nightmares to turn them to dreams

If you invite him in when ever you feel lost even in the dead of the night

From this day forward he will help you in your fight 

Please know this too:

All you have to do is ask and I too will join in that fight right beside you 

©2014 Shavon Taylor

CloversAllOver.com

Please Heed My Warning

GREED:

The most common source of violence world wide, the single worst emotion grown by far too many, the incurable hunger without harvest, the one thing that can drive you to do anything; even that ONE thing you never thought you could do. It infects minds, inflicts pain, brews anger and hatred in a revolting stew of aggression mix it with passion and what you will find is a disgusting, disfigured, dysfunctional, demon that only aims to destroy us all.

BEWARE: FOR NONE ARE TRULY EVER SAFE FROM THE EMOTION MOST EQUATE TO NEED 

©2014 Shavon Taylor

Put a Finnish to it, Canadian Babies Should go in Boxes!

I just read this article and it literally brought tears to my eyes!

Why Canadian babies should sleep in cardboard boxes like Finnish babies do”-The Globe and mail

The fact that the government won’t cover maternity leave unless you have paid into E.I. is bad enough, but to look at the children in Canada and the national poverty crisis! How many expectant mothers don’t even bother to see a doctor before they have no choic? The incentive plan the finnish have put in action is quite clearly an effective one! Their message is a comforting and supportive one, a small guesture that says “You matter and so does our baby.” Yes OUR baby, that baby will grow in OUR country, be taught in OUR schools, follow OUR laws, and become an essential part of our community. Don’t we want OUR children to grow up in the same nurturing and healthy environmen? Don’t we want OUR children to proudly say “I am Canadian!”? Please help me tell the Canadian governement it’s time to stop attempting to hide our problems in the boxes they keep in the back on the top shelf and start putting babies in them, with love and care in hopes to help each and every one get the start at life they deserve!

 Please sign the petition I created in hopes of providing a better beginning for a brighter tomorrow. Canadian babies can go in boxes too!
Thanks,
Shavon Taylor♥

Daddy’s Girl

So young, so sweet, so innocent

How can this be, Daddy’s lil girl now an Angel to heaven she’s sent

No longer bound by the limitations of growing old

Never again will he be alone in his cold

She is free now to do whatever her wish, whatever she feels

Yet left here on earth is a hole in his heart he doubts will ever be healed

Eternal youth and beauty that’s how she’s remembered

For him I know there shall be no such day so cold as that day in December

How he must be hurting, I can’t even attempt to understand

All those memories will forever linger of the times he’d held her little hand

It breaks my heart to imagine how his faith too must have been stripped away that day

There are no words, no matter the strength of their comfort that will send his hurt away

How the world can be so cruel, I just can’t understand

Things can turn upside down so fast, no matter how hard you try to stick to a plan

Tears fall from many eyes on this day,

As they remember the beautiful soul taken long before her day

My only hope among all the despair is that he knows no matter the time, problem, or place

She will always be there, all he has 2 do is envision her face

A love between father and daughter may not be one to be considered rare,

Though I can tell you that love is one in which no other will ever compare

©2013 Shavon Taylor CloversAllOver.com

Breakdown or Breakthrough

I get so incredibly frustrated because it feels like I’m running out of time  

That and the fact that no matter how I try, I just can’t keep you off my mind

I’ve said I’ve let you go, but can’t bring myself to actually do it

You say you have no feelings for me, but I truly believe there’s much more to it

Driving me crazy as even the smallest sings you refuse to acknowledge

It’s so hard for me, living life precariously teetering on the edge

Mere moments from my next break, never knowing if it will be down or through

Funny thing is no matter which way I lean, it seems I’m always leanin’ on you

The one person who believed in me when no one else would

The only one to try to help me escape a world that you just never could

I’m not sure what you want from me, if anything at all

The one thing I do know is, you’re always there to help me up after every single fall

I can’t thank you enough for all you helped me through

I just wish there was a single thing in this world I wanted, more than I desire you

© 2013 Shavon Taylor CloversAllOver

Fantasized Fame

Fantasized Fame

Fantasized Fame

Takin’ power from the ground, always in motion

This chick ain’t slowin’ down for no one

I’m bout to claim my crown and show  these fools I’m not clownin’ around

Got the kinda energy none can master

They just can’t keep up with me, not that I’m even the one they’re after

I chase ’em down just for fun, love to watch ’em turn to run

Some people like games but I’m not one to be playin’ around

Y’all think I’m lost now that I’m finally found?

Tryin’ to turn this sh*t off ain’t

Sorry if now it seems I’m only tryin’ to please me

We may not be able to fool each other but we can fool ourselves easy enough

Every body’s got their story, the things they like to call rough

I’m not about to compare, I’d rather not see just how little you care

So much time I have spent helpin’ the hindered

Now that I’m lost no help left to be delivered You think I’m undeserving?

For me there seems to be less understanding

Watching my world crumble to the floor still I’m helpin’ the homeless to a door

Pickin’ up the shattered bits off the dizzying floor

Piecing them back together so they fit back in your frame

Finding time to clean up other’s messes I couldn’t even try to explain

Hang it back up on your wall

Catchin’  you right outta the sky, no more free fall

So you once again can reminisce on the good times and all that you once enjoyed

Helpin’ families find focus, yet I’m still unemployed

Can’t move ahead if I keep lookin back

I just wish I knew which cards to throw away in order to get the right ones from the stack

Gotta stay on track keep my focus on the main goal  

Maybe try judging the pot against the toll

Can’t keep goin’ all in for all of you

It’s ’bout damn time I start thinkin’ bout me too

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Stepping it up

Stepping It Up

I demand the respect you all expect for yourselves, and it’s about time

The way I allowed myself to be treated should be a crime

A crime on humanity, only showing my humility

Funny isn’t it, seeing the doormat step up to the plate

I’m done with the boys, no more 2nd rate

First class all the way, I called shot-gun and up front is where I plan to stay

Hold on tight now because you’re in for quite a ride

In the shadows I will no longer hide   I can and I will live to love myself

Taking all my insecurities and puttin’ ’em on the shelf

Won’t let you drive me crazy constantly waiting and wanting more

No more will I be pickin’ my heart up off the floor

You can’t hack this heart, good luck with around the world

How ’bout right down the drain where my brain often swirls

Up outta the gutter  I am amazing and you’d be lucky to have me

Didn’t I say I was done?

I didn’t stutter, maybe you didn’t quite hear me

Though I know I spoke quite clearly

Honestly I don’t like repeating myself, I don’t speak just for fun

So if you don’t have the time to listen, please don’t bother to ask

This communication thing really shouldn’t be such a difficult task

I must say listening is nowhere near as important as actually hearing

What is it exactly about the words I’m saying that your fearing?

The fact that I might be right or that you might actually be wrong?

You said we could never last, yet I’ve stuck around now for how long?

How many times have we said goodbye?

How many tears have I, will I cry?

It doesn’t really matter in the end honestly

I have finally realized I don’t need you or anyone

I have everything I will ever need, it’s just the same as all I will ever be

ME

Saves Me

Saves Me

I honestly don’t think I’ve stayed so quiet in my entire life

I knew not a single word I said could comfort you

As if your frustrations with life weren’t enough 

You’ve now taken on mine too

No matter how hard I wished there was anything I could say

Deep down I knew silence was the only way

For me to actually just keep my mouth shut was really a great feat

I thought of the things I wanted to say, wordlessly in my seat

Holding my breath in attempt to hold back tears

In the void of all noise my head began filling with fears

Fears of loosing you completely

Fears that this quiet would defeat me

As you know I enjoy almost every second spent next to you

Even here mouth clamped shut wondering what I should do

So for now I’ll continue to hold my hopes up real high next to my dreams

Noiselessly pushing away the inner voice trying so hard to scream

I realize you had no intention to hurt me,

In fact that’s the only thing you have ever stated clearly

You even did so right from the start

You never asked me to give you the key to my heart

I swear tho, I will never speak again if the word you’re seeking is goodbye

It’s so hard in this dead air not to allow myself to cry

I’m not sure I will ever get thru to you,

I doubt I’ll even understand you, let alone the things you do

The only thing I do know is this

You really do drive me completely crazy,

Almost as much as you amaze me 

 

©2013 Shavon Taylor

The Fight: It’s for You so it’s Alright

So easily I lose sight
Suddenly so weary from the fight
Forcing myself to carry on thru all the hurt and  pain
Trying to prove to no one but myself, I really am sane
The crazy is merely my surroundings, it can’t actually be me
This whirlwind you all claim to see, the one you say I choose to be
There’s so much good I could gain if I could only gain control
Instead I keep taking on more and more adding to my plate that’s already too full
No one sees all that I take on every second of every day
I continue to help others as I fall, I don’t know how but I always find a way
Refusing to let them see my struggle,  I try so hard to hide
That’s okay tho helping others never  messes with my flow
I’ve got all the time in the world, so I’ll take my time to grow

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Defend

Leaves fall faster when we stop to think

The earth spins slowly when he starts to drink

My emotions flow ravenously when I express

Time to grab hold, erase this mess

Always hold fast to your dreams,

Admire the beauty in every scene

Focus on yourself, your well-being

Tho don’t forget to watch what goes on around you

Find and gain strength in all that surrounds you

Let nothing, not anyone hold you back

None should you allow to drag you down

Life should be a journey, not a job

Enjoyment should always come first at home

In fact it’s almost all that matters

This time respect and appreciation are demanded

Refusing to stay like all the times before,

Know she won’t be leaving  empty-handed

“No longer will I be walked on”

It’s her turn to come out on top,

She’ll be holding the heart this time

I can’t continue watching it all unravel

As it sincerely breaks mine

That’s it, that’s all, not another “fall”

She’s starting a new chapter

That’s right she’s finally moving on

No more waiting, watching, wanting more for you

No longer will she lie down

leaving herself open to your abuse

Now and forever she’s

GONE

©2013 Shavon Taylor

7 Rules of Friendship

1. No matter what the situation or the opposition you are ALWAYS on your friend’s side

1b. Even if you are completely aware they are lying/wrong
1c. You can always find out their reasoning later
1d. If the opposition happens to be your significant 
other please refer to one of the following clauses
      "Chicks before d*cks" or "Bros before h*es"

2. If you hear one of my pretendafriends talkin’ negatively behind my back and you say nothing then or to me, you are now in the pretendafriend category and if I do hear it from a true friend you will be treated as such

3. If you can’t laugh with me, don’t laugh at me

4. If we haven’t talked in a while and it’s been even longer since we have seen each other, that does not lessen our bond, in fact I believe it only makes it stronger

5. If I look/sound like a complete idiot tell me so I can fix it don’t let me make it worse

5a. Please refer to #3 

6. At any point in time if you feel you need me CALL ME, No matter where I am, who I’m with, what I’m doing (or suposed to be doing) I will be there for you NO MATTER WHAT

6a.I won’t say I expect te same from you (Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed)

6b.I will say real friends will not even bother aknowledging 6a. because we both know that’s for the pretendafriends

7. IF YOU CAN’T TAKE OR MAKE A JOKE GTFO!!

❤ You guys, no need for shout outs, if you find your self wondring if your name would be among the unmentioned list, maybe you should consider why you are unsure, then LET ME KNOW so we can work on our…

FRIENSHIP

ILOVE THAT SH*T

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Amityville Ink by Shane Walkem~ My Friend and Body Artist

http://amityvilleink.yolasite.com/

Meet Shane Walkem of  Amityville Ink the most amazing tattoo artist I have EVER met, not only does he have an amazing artistic ability but he’s a genuine, down to earth, honest, guy with a great sense of humor (Thank God!) I tend to go a wee bit over board with my humor and some people just can’t take it! Shane by far is not one of those people, in fact he’s quite the opposite. A truly rare gem these days to be honest!

Anyway let’s get back to the Art of the body, I personally have 3 pieces Shane not only tattooed but literally brought to life! When you get a tattoo you generally (well most people at least) have an idea of what they want and usually the picture of it is pretty clear in their minds. (I will touch back on this, funny story so just keep reading).

The first time I went to see Shane this was exactly the case for me I wanted a tattoo and I wanted it NOW (a few of mine were quite spontaneous decisions, still I regret none!) more specifically I wanted a music note with the bottom bubble part in the shape of a heart on my wrist with some meaningful words to me at the time inside, the trick was I wanted the wording to be my skin not the tattoo (basically colored around the words instead). He kindly pointed out the flaws in my plan, it would need to be much larger than I had planned or the ink would just finish filling it in for me eventually, yes probably not for years but “A tattoo is for life, the design should be too!”

I was amazed, I mean I know there are a lot of people out there who wouldn’t tell me this in fear of losing a client. With Shane he really would rather not have a client than to have an unsatisfied client! I really wish more companies, even people were as sincere and honest! He even pointed out the fact that the way I wanted it was actually backwards. LOL! That part really didn’t bother me so much, I wanted it to “go with the flow of my body” I had said.

What he came up with is SOOOOO much better than the image I had in my head, he called it “shading” at the time. Coincidentally it  looks like (to me at least) crashing waves with mountains and storm clouds in the background. Which is me 100% that’s all I’ll say about that for now, if you have read some of my poems you already probably understand. This post tho isn’t really about me….well at least I don’t want the MAIN focus to be on me.

http://amityvilleink.yolasite.com/

The first of my Amityville Ink collection by Shane Walkem

My second piece I wanted a ladybug behind my ear with its wings open. This time tho  Shane had a  lil bit of time to actually design it, well go figure just seconds before he is about to show me what he’s come up with I decided it would be wicked if he can make it in the shape of a heart! No problem a couple more minutes and I have a few of his ideas mapped out in full color and amazingly accurate! The winner was a simple choice tho and the funny part is he had thought that would be the one I wanted too! I love it!!! The process was great too, call me crazy but I actually really enjoyed it!  So much so that I decided my next piece would go behind my other ear.

http://amityvilleink.yolasite.com/

2nd peice at Amityville Ink by Shane Walkem

This is the funny story mentioned in the beginning, I ran into Shane Walkem at a mutual friends house on my payday! “Oh what luck” I had thought, “I want another tattoo!!” Well I could see he was in the middle of his artistic process on a guy who didn’t seem to be having the same awesome experience I did. (I have heard women are built to endure pain a lil better than men, considering they give birth I have a feeling that is a somewhat accurate statement.) I won’t say getting ink doesn’t hurt, tho I will say for ME it really is almost the exact opposite! Now I realize I am extremely terrible with money, so I asked Shane Walkem if I could possibly pre-pay him for my next tattoo, his obvious next question “of what?” My ridiculous answer? ” I don’t know yet, something behind my ear!” and the “wittiest response of all time” award goes to….Shane Walkem “Oh ya, I’ll put something behind your ear no problem” 😉

http://amityvilleink.yolasite.com/

The nauticalness was an idea he almost regretted mentioning! I’m so glad he did! My third tho NOT my final peice from Amityville Ink by Shane Walkem

Please keep in mind Shane behaves in an extremely proffessional  manner when with clients, to be completely fair, I definitely was the instigator behind the way we now interact, and I love it! I don’t only consider him my amazingly talented body artist but a close friend, whom I am very thankful to have met! Now I thinnk it’s time I share him with the world! Enjoy!

Here are some truly beautiful examples of his original body art:

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Find him at any of the links above or this one here –> Amityville Ink by Shane Walkem These are some examples of his Cover Ups:

Mind Over Matter

Have to stop hurting myself, hating myself, underestimating myself

I cannot undo any of what has already been done

Nor can I keep picking up my baggage as I turn to run

There are so many ways to destroy yourself

So many ways to just ignore the help

Yes, for me it has been a struggle since day one

Not a single day have I spent on my own basking in the sun

I hide in the clouds

Letting myself get lost amongst the crowds

Allowing my life to be pulled by some unseen current

You’d think a past like mine may act as a kind of deterrent

Wisdom they say is making mistakes and learning not to make them again

I often wish my hurting heart would listen to my clever weary brain

Never even taking notice of the warning signs as I race through the back roads

Like some demonic highway

If I want help I must realize it can’t always be my way

Those who offer opinions aren’t always trying to disagree

Most times they too only wish to set me free

Apparently tho I am not the only one I hide behind this mask

I watch thru the peep holes as helpers turn to monsters before my eyes

Before they can even get near their task

Once again its time to pull down the blinds

I sincerely don’t want to see the world and all humanities crimes

I’m still struggling to find real faces, for in this world it takes all kinds

At last tho I have realized this battered heart has no clue what it needs to find

So from this day forward I vow I will no longer allow it to take the controls from my mind

©2013 Shavon Taylor CloversAllOver.com

For My Poppy

This is a poem I wrote for my Poppy. For those of you wondering Poppy is what I called my Grandpa. I wrote this after he passed and I read it at his “Celebration of Life” tho I’m not sure anyone understood the words thru my sobs. He didn’t pass on or even near Remembrance Day, it was actually around Easter. My Poppy was an amazing man who did fight in the war tho. I think the reason my loss of him hits so hard on this day may have something to do with the fact that I wish I’d thanked him for fighting for us! Maybe it even has something to do with the poppies everyone wears reminding me of just how much I miss him. I hope this makes a few people smile the way he always could! I love you Poppy, gone though never forgotten ❤ xxoxx ❤

For My Poppy

It’s so hard to believe you’re gone

Probably because in our hearts and minds you will always live on 

So determined and strong willed you would never accept defeat

I remember when I was so young, thinking just touching your big comfy red chair was a treat

You guarded that chair from miles away

Only under siege of giggles or cuddles would your defences fray

Even Nanny’s crawling plant knew enough to steer clear

Like lightning you’d strike, with one quick glance I was frozen in fear

I remember the excitement of having one sticky hand snatched up thinkin’ “oh man, so close!”

I swear I still remember every inch of that house

I still know where every candy dish was placed

So many memories that will never be erased

Like the last time I saw you, I remember this one like it was just yesterday

“Hey Bon bon how you doin’ kiddo?” I can still hear you say

As you poked my tummy in that ticklish spot, you know the one kinda low

You knew all of our torturously ticklish spots 

You must have learned them when we were just tots

I will never forget you, nor will I ever stop loving you

Just as I am so sure of the happiness it brings to our family

Knowing you now fly high with your newly found wings

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Sunny Daze

Everyday I’m searchin for a lil more sun
A lil more focus maybe a lil less fun
These wet rainy days leave me lookin’ for a dry place to sit
Another to get close to, some place I may fit
Seems the ones I tend to meet I end up wishin I could forget
Don’t get me wrong I refuse to live a life I regret
Tho these showers can be lonely and cold
My future, my happiness remains untold
My entire lifetime I may spend searchin’ for you
All the while you might be just behind me racing to pursue
Like the fresh forest floor covered in dew
I wake each morning seeking something new
A reason for being, checking the window in hopes its a rainbow Ill be seeing
Tho I don’t let the storms outside get to me
For i know deep down happiness will one day find me
That will be the day i break free finally
Free from the rain, the pain, walking proudly, no shame
Somehow you will know how to tame my flame
As you ignite the spark
I will know I will never agian endure another nite alone in the dark
Together we will always find the sun
Where we will so happily run
Away from the sadness and gloom falling into a bed of laughter in our own room
A place where love and care will forever live
A place where there’s no wrong we would commit that the other couldn’t forgive
At times it hurts to stay locked in my head
In the feilds of flowers I’d much rather tred
Alone searching for those sunny days is where I remain instead
I know I can‘t do this all on my own
Still I’ll refuse to go on in misery each day only to grumble and groan
One day happiness will be my home
Together in the sun we will shine
For I am yours and you will be mine

wi©2013 Shavon Taylor

Love Deprived

I cannot sleep another second, nor can I go on with my eyes closed
So much of my life I’ve just slept away, so much I missed while I just dozed
Dreams so rarely find me in the night, more often it’s nightmares that wake me with such fright
That’s when I find myself reaching for the light instead of you to hold me tight
I hate to have to admit to fear,especially when you’re not here
When I have to shake it off and pretend it’s all ok
While I’m forced to carry on thru what seems like such a hollow pointless day
You have no idea how alone I sometimes feel, like there’s no escape even when I know the cage is not real
I guess I never realized just how much strength I gain merely  from your presence, somehow the strangle hold of fears grip just lessens
It’s like it can’t get a hold on me if I’m holding you
Lately tho in the dark I still have to fight for you too
The closer we should be the faster and farther you pull away from me
Not even your nightmares keep you in my arms, in my head all I hear are alarms
You’re fading slowly, slipping from my view
You never were by my side, no matter how hard I tried or pretended I knew
All this time I thought one day we might win
Your heart tried to tell me to stop, but I fought to be a part of all I saw within
All I’ve ever wanted for us was happiness
As I tried to build more for us, you progressively gave me less
Not because you want to remain sad, not even to prove all the reasons I sometimes make you so mad
Maybe because I want it so bad, everything I’ve never had, I wanted to share with you
You say you’ve had it all and were forced to watch it falling
Tho I still believe it’s possible for you to take the chance and love, I must realize this is not a chance you will take with me

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Open My Eyes to See Me

Evermore I battle within myself
Each way I turn I feel I must go without
The endless battle with hurt and deception leaves me filled with doubt
I hurt those closest to me, mostly in fear they too may realize I’m not who I should be
I won’t allow myself to gain when I could
Only taking what is free, not asking for that which is owed to me
If I chose to I could own this world, so simply I could twirl it on my finger tip
Never again would I slip, if I’d merely step up to the plate
My passion and power are unimaginable, there’s no limits on what I might create
The fact that I stand here staring fate in the face without making a move is unfathomable
If only I let go of any and all fear
If I refused to shed another tear not shed in joy
If I could grab hold of love and life, embrace it all and finally enjoy
Well maybe I’d actually know what it is to live
Sometimes it just doesn’t matter how much you give or how much you care
It’s all about how much you do and when you’re actually there
Achievements and accomplishments are the worst things I fear
Now if I could just find a way to make me see it this clear

©2013 Shavon Taylor CloversAllOver

Dark Sea

I hate seeing those rain clouds hanging above your head
Swimming with thoughts and feelings unsaid
I can feel your pain wash over me
Suddenly I’m right beside you drowning in that dark sea
How do I keep your head above the surface while those thoughts weigh you down like lead?
I’ve been waiting for your flood to subside, keeping all my advice inside
To just listen, just be there
I only wish all your troubles could be taken away with the tide
Unfortunately it’s not that simple, it never really is
I may be able to offer support, or comfort, even a place to keep you dry temporarily
Just know you will work your way thru it
We both know you can do it
Just as sure there will always be pain, every once in a while it has to rain
It’s what comes after the rain that makes it worthwhile to weather
Everything is so fresh and renewed
You will go back out there and fight while growing so incredibly  strong
Until again one day you find yourself sinking in that dark sea
Worry not, for you know exactly where you will find me

©2013 Shavon Taylor CloversAllOver

Stages of Crazed Rages

So sure is he who tries to tell me who to be
So unpure the anger he forces thru me
Naive, negative, nonsensical nuisance he has become
My choices leave no comfort as they weigh on my conscience
Tho I have no intent to hurt him, his frailty seems an infants equivalence
Unable to express exactly what it would take to calm him
I’m left to guess just how to soothe him
Never before have I witnessed an outlook so grim
So focused on the f*ckery, bitterly battling everyone,
Himself and those his mind creates
His anger fills him up so full all bits of sanity left deflate
I can’t keep up with his head trips
Quite honestly the violence is frightening when he flips
I wonder when did his madness start, just how long has it been
I’m watching him fall apart, he’s bursting at the seams
All normalcy hits the floor as I realize there’s no time to make it to the door
Once again I’m in for a show
Off the handle he flys tellin’ me things I’d really rather not know
No matter how I try I can’t get him back down to earth with me
Reality remains something I can no longer make him see
It hurts to know he is so far gone
Fanatically convinced he’s merely a pawn
They’re all out to get him you see
It’s all just a game, we all want him to lose, that’s right even ME
Now he’s a lone soldier fighting his own mind
Peace, hope, sanity, serenity things he no longer even attempts to find
I thought my lil rain showers were insane
In comparison to his typhoon my crazy seems rather tame
I’m not sure there’s a way for me to help him and even if there were I’m not sure I could stay
Although my crazy may not compare to his,
In my mind I know I’m only moving closer everyday
Unfortunately my only option left is to pick up MY pieces and go the other way

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Get Up, Or Get Out

Infatuations with irritations 

Constant imitations of immature situations

Frustration combined with irrationalization leads to awkward occasions

With no occupation to busy the mind, confrontation can be quite easy to find

No sense, no reason, never can stay

Leavin’ all kinds behind

Go on pretendedly blind, stuck on play or pause

No rewind, why is it not easier to be kind?

Insanity instead is what we find

Justifications severely confined, to suit self-gratification

View is brutally battered, it needs to be refined

Alterations to be made on your ulterior motives have been outlined

Change your inspiration, gotta make changes of all kinds

Just moments of sunshine will better or brighten your day

A single second spent seeking help will lighten your way, or weigh

No reason to stay knowing all the while you’re going astray

Don’t act like you don’t know the way, or that you can forever keep your loved ones at bay

Enough of the games no more time to play 

Just open up and feel the warmth of the day

Your happiness awaits, yet inside is where you choose to stay?

Where vanity inflates as your sanity has hit the brakes

Inside is where you keep all your emotions too 

Bitterness flourishes in cold dark places, or people like you 

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Mind Goggles

The mind can be a terribly treacherous tyrant,

Taking control of all emotion

Changing, replacing, rearranging all ideas or preconceived notions

Stretching farther than imagination

Turning once readily received  ideas into insane irrationalizations

As the tiniest irritations perceived become believed infatuations

Time becomes lost, caught in a free fall, it all comes undone, at what cost?

Shielded fun, yielded fruit from forgotten trees

Some so rotten, the others, never allowed to see

Tho it all still grows deep within

The beauty bestowed will silence any sin

We continue our search, some climb so high, even out on the frailest of limbs

Unfortunately the darkness still finds a way to seep in

Under cover of sleep or shade of trees in broad day light

Seeking our reason to be,  unafraid  we will fight

The trick is knowing, not merely believing what we fight for is right

Both dreams and fears are only what we have created

Our screams or tears could be so easily evaded

Instead it all builds perpetually

We may not always have a choice in our destination

You may even attempt to put the blame on destiny

We all know the seeds we plant as we go,

What they may become if allowed to grow

Just remember we all fall sometimes, so look out below

©2013 Shavon Taylor

I of the storm

I have no idea where I’m goin’
You have no idea where I’ve been
My life story is a bumpy one I don’t often care to share
People tend to look at you differently when they hear how much you’ve endured
I don’t have to explain a thing when i choose instead to remain reserved
I still haven’t quite figured out how to make the chaos stop
It keeps going even when I feel it’s done
Up that proverbial mountain I continually climb and fall, no matter how hard I try I can’t stay on top
I want to just pick up the scattered pieces and move on
Where would I begin, how am I supposed to just let go
I’ve been rolling this storm for so long now
I can’t help but wonder if it may have grown a life of its own
What if I can’t stop what I’ve started?
If after the darkness rolls out and the clouds have parted,
Will it all unravel and spin completely out of control
I guess there’s really only one way to know
I feel so ashamed, why is change so frightening
That impossibly immediate love for you struck my heart like lighting
Everything stopped spinning, for just a moment
There was a beautiful calm all around, in that brief second I saw how my life could be so different
As quickly as it came it was gone
My whole world shook and the spinning kept on
It all now seems so bleak
This storm continues to grow stronger yet I feel so weak
On my own I’m expected to accept any weather that comes my way
Like a dusty picture hanging on your wall, neglected it’s still expected to stay
In the eye of the storm I’m to remain unmoved
Spinning all around my world becomes a blur
Just what did i expect to prove
The unattainable attempting to change the unchangeable
Never once since I met him have I even looked for ground more stable
Still I wish for sanity, for silence, even for simplicity
It seems now he has only grown more afraid of me
Always keeping his distance while guarding with that enraging resistance

The Genini in Me

The Gemini and I, she and me,her and she, I…well we, rarely agree on much at all

That Gemini in me she and I swap sides rapidly

Always changing our mind, though she more than me

Together we make an unbeatable and unbearable team

Our thoughts, our mood,even our heart is so infuriatingly easy to infatuate

The Gemini in me just loves to love

Tho we both know she lacks largely in the follow thru

When she’s bored it’s those heart-strings with which she guides the arrows thru her bow

Pulling not only my heart but my love in a million directions

Mighty butterflies flutter by surprisingly piquing some new interest

Thankfully few of her arrows have the power of Cupid’s

Every so often she shows me tail feathers, of his she stole, all we have left on our side

We just love our emotional roller coaster ride, tho we try not to ride it often

We still cry some days over that arrow

I wish I had a clue as to which direction she even sent it

Don’t feel sad, for what were once monumental moments are now merely misty memories

Soon she and I, her and me, me and she will be quite easily swayed onto new thoughts

I only wish we would take more care with the mental mapping, because its beginning to feel like some how, some where,

The Gemini n I, our past, our present, and our future are now overlapping

©2013 Shavon Taylor

For My Friend, You Are The Best

The people who are lucky enough to have you in their lives are blessed!

Believe me it’s true, even if they don’t show it.

It’s only because they just don’t know it yet,

Possibly a few some how just forget.

I am so happy for you a beautiful wife and mother,

A friend like no other.

I always knew if I ever needed you, you’d be right there.

You have overcome so much, your parents must be so proud!

We are two of a kind you and I 

We’ve always stood out from the crowd

Never doing things the conventional way,

Often too our kind caring hearts would lead us astray

Now seeing all you have accomplished gives me a bit of hope

One day you decided enough was enough, and you left before your sanity broke

You knew you deserved so much better and that happiness would soon find you

One day soon I know  I  will do the same, and get it together too.

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Dee Nile the River of Real Eyes-ation

Can you open your eyes and see more than just the river washing you away from me?

Is it really so much easier to deny than to actually allow it to be?

Continue on faking your way thru as you float astray

I can not hold you, if I could I still would not contain you

So go on living your cool cruel life the way you do

There’s no need for you to look me in the eyes

No need for truth, in fact I prefer your lies

I see right thru them so paper thin, where do I begin?

Shall I let go, move on and just find some one new?

Or do I wage this tsunami and fight for you?

This trip to realization has been quite tiresome

I almost can’t remember where it started from

Sloshing on, in this water I continue to tred 

Can’t we start over, fresh and new instead?

Why is it so impossible to get you outta my head?

Will I just float on forever like thoughts in the breeze?

Forever waiting for you to claim me?

This river is merciless, at times relentless

I find myself wishing, “If only you meant less”

Then somehow maybe I could finally free myself of you

Would you suddenly be the one racing to pursue?

They say if you love someone you should set them free

My biggest fear tho is that you won’t even stop to look back for me