Fuck It

Frick this or fuck that

Fix this or fake that

Fall for this or fall on that

Love this, hate that

End this, start that

Give this or take that

Forgive this, already forgot that

Reclaim this, refuse that

Recite this or refine that

Lose this to love that

Fuck this and fuck that



Clovers All Over

~Shavon Taylor~

Who’s The Fool?

You’re thoughtless, not often on me do your thoughts rest
Restless to the point of reckless
You don’t want to remember tho how could you forget?
Act like it’s okay to let yourself go every day, all you’re doing is accumulating more regrets
Your plate piled high while on the highway you fly
Like papers in the wind your worries fly
For a few brief seconds the weight lifts
You’re weightless, wait less than a second and they hit the road like it’s raining eggs down on your head
How is that brief moment worth all the grief?
Can’t you just own it?
For a few minutes is all it takes really, once you actually face reality
So rarely these things are as bad as they seem
What hurts and haunts the most is the shame, always looking for something or someone to blame
Any reason, anything at all to soften the landing when you fall
What you don’t realize is these excuses are the walls you will fall thru, not the feathers on which you’ll land!
You only make it harder the more you run, as you flee you create a scene
The more you panic the more the pain aches
Your heart, your conscience, your head, even your body will feel weighted down with dread
Soggy sloshy steps drag and pull
Under the water you try to hide
But without air we cannot survive
Taking drugs to get high, so high up in the air
But without the ground how are we to grow?
So you bury yourself deep in the mud
That quickly becomes quicksand
The world around us begins to lose shape, there is only so much we can fake
Only so much damage a soul can take
Battered and tho self inflicted, still bruised
Ego
Isn’t she a bitch?
Like anyone cares who you act like you is
The real you, your truth one day please let it shine thru
On that day weightless will come so easily, just you wait and see

Awareness

I need a few minutes of your time friends and family, foes and a few I don’t knows, future somethings who currently feel like nothings

Let’s discuss the darkness and  try to shed a lil light on a few things I hope most of you won’t have to wish you already knew

See I have come to realize that I am entirely direly creeping closer to my expiry.

Depressed.

What??? I know right?!?

Well the truth is the people who always seem so selfless, the ones who care more that any one cares to.

Crackin’ jokes bout themselves when they have to, if that’s what it takes to pull a smile out of you

The ones who seemingly never have a bad day or just can’t keep a smile off their face

These are the ones ready to come undone, on the brink of the discovery of the age old question, is there life after.

These people, my people they smile for you cuz they don’t ever want you to know the depths of the pain that they do

They don’t want you to see how low or worthless they feel cuz empathy runs FAR to deeply in them and they  can’t imagine moving any of that weight onto you

Go around crackin jokes pickin up people’s hope, the cost is merely a few more pounds on my coat

That heart on my sleeve never stops growing.

That pain that you got, it keeps overflowing, worry not tho I’ll clean it up with out you even knowing

My true sadness never showing

When Robin Williams took his own life, I’ll tell you right now I was so fucking mad

Not for the fact that I never got to meet him or any other obscurity

I only got mad cuz of my own insecurities, I got mad cuz deep down I was afraid

Completely terrified that I too one day may take a life that is so unfair and unkind to take 

Make no mistake I’m not seeking attention, not by any means

Those of you who know me know full well how easily and happily will cause a scene

No, I’m  not seeking attention, I don’t want you to worry bout me at all

I ask instead that you pay attention to those who surround you, who always seem so upbeat, so seemingly complete

The ones who can always make u smile when all you want to do is break down n cry

The ones who never need cheering up yet they keep cheering you on

Please reach out to them if they suddenly become silent or for days  just randomly are gone

Sleep is a great escape, don’t wanna be sad so in bed instead I’ll stay

I tell you all of this in hopes we can help those who try so hard to go unseen.

So that maybe tomorrow we can all find a way to help ensure we won’t lose another soul who’s anything like me.