In Sanity

This place I thought was once my home

It almost seems as if it’s the only one I’d ever known

My flare, my spark, you know, that bit of me that sets me apart

Recently it’s beginning to feel more like a mark

A signal, a sign following me all the time

Telling those around me I’m not fine

In Sanity, the insane is me, completely crazy

The only one in this place quite like me 

I’ve visited Sanity so seldom lately, I no longer feel welcomed

Once loved and cherished for my flare

Now shoved then banished for my flaws

In Sanity they can’t make up my mind

Independent thoughts?

Few of their population will even think to find

Merely sheep following the masses

I used to pretend this place was too my home

Now to these people I am unknown

When I come around tho I can see some find it hard to pick a side

Interested, intrigued, tho too insecure so still I must hide

In Sanity they are all well rested, so no use trying to run

They’d catch me for sure 

My spark, my flair, the way they stare

If they want to act like I don’t matter than why should I care?

A sign, a signal, not to lose track of time or your world might end up like mine

Still they stall, too afraid to fall

In Sanity tho they would never admit it, they crave me 

Their only chance to save their world you see, is me 

In Sanity they need the insanity to set them free

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Seeing Sounds (Trippin’ on Troubled Times)

Rainbow trails lead to purple puddles

Drip drops in flip flops

Climbing and falling from tree tops

Clean and fresh never lettin’ it get stale

Still so frail, still we need

Frantic timing as I’m stalling

I see it stops as I start to look in between

Thoughts pop, as bubbles burst

Teeter totter, should I  bother

Merry go rounds, on our playgrounds

Sandboxes full of castles

The tide can wash it all away

How does water cast shadows?

No need to hide, here’s the lost and found

So instead seek change, rearrange, shake it up

Make your life exactly what you want it to be

Solidify your dreams

You’re in control of your destiny

Choose your own path, forget the past

Everything can be flipped so fast

Can’t always play it safe, don’t fade into the background

Don’t be afraid to make a sound

Cause a stir, fly past it all in a blur

A whirlwind isn’t always a disaster,

Just as calm doesn’t mean trouble’s stayed

Can’t judge what’s inside from just what you see

Who knows maybe you’re exactly like me

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Face This and Fake Less or Remain Faceless

Lookin’ at my heart all battered and bruised,

I can’t help but wonder how I let it all get so bad

Tho my heart’s not shattered, the edges are quite tattered

You can tell it’s been well used

How can a heart so open and so pure, look so sad?

Why is it not shinning and brilliant?

It seems the more I open it up, the more damage it must endure

A true heart must always try to be prepared and remain resilient

For there are many dark hearts out there who see good intentions as good lure

How do you protect such a beautiful fragile thing?

All the while taking care not to jade it

Protection from the cruel chill some bitterly cold people bring

Trying to remember just what made it,

Forgetting any attempts made to break it

Never giving up, nor giving in, but continuing to move on

To be strong and always be sure to give your heart, that way no one can ever take it

If we all loved the way we should, we could all win

If we could all only trust each other enough instead of proving each other wrong

Look at the beauty that dwells down deep in the few who still give their hearts so willingly

See past the smile painted on their face, do you see their pain, isn’t that veil so thin?

Those battered beaten lil hearts may be damaged but they continue beating

Getting up after every fall hoping to finally find another heart just as welcoming

Another who not only see the power but the pain and imperfections too

Some one who loves it all and wants nothing more than to be at least a lil bit like you

The fake hearts hide their faces too afraid so they accept less than what they know they deserve

Stop the madness show your kindness, share your weakness, damn it show some nerve

If you can’t face your reality you’ll remain hurting with nothing to comfort you but your insanity

Wouldn’t you rather attain greatness and be just a lil bit like me?

 

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Hmmmm…

Couldn’t help but notice of all my posts “Who am I?” is ranked 2nd in your faves, what I’m wondering is why no one has taken a guess at the answer to the riddle…As I said in the actual post I left the last line out in hopes to intrigue some of the amazing minds here!! Would love to hear some of your ideas and honestly I would love to finally reveal the last line…I should warn you it sometimes hits similarly to a hi-5 in the face…just sayin lol

 

Here’s your chance, read and comment with your thoughts please! 😀

https://cloversallover.wordpress.com/2013/10/09/who-am-i/

Hate

I hate how much I think about u, I hate how much I care.

I hate that I have 2 go on without u, I hate that you’re never there.

I hate how often I dream of you, I hate how you go on pretending the way you do.

I hate all the times I chose to lean on you, I hate that you’re not here to help see me thru.

I hate how much you cross my mind, I hate how lil I must cross yours.

I hate thinking your love for me just isn’t there for me to find, I hate how every time I speak 2 u its like putting salt on fresh sores.

I hate how hard I tried, I hate how u never would.

I hate how hard I’ve cried, I hate how you never could.

I hate how if given the chance I don’t think I’d change a thing, I hate that all the memories I held so tight now mean nothing.

I hate how I can never take off that stupid ring, I hate my thoughts of u and all the sadness and frustration they bring.

I hate that I can’t let go, I hate that u won’t hold on.

I hate all the emotions you just never showed, I hate that now more than ever i feel like you’re actually gone.

There are so many things I want hate you for but there are too many reasons for me to ever actually hate you, no matter how badly I want to or how hard I try I will somehow still always want u.

I hate how long I’d wait for you, I hate that I can’t change the way u feel.

I hate all the fantasies I’ve create, I hate how all of this feels so unreal.

I hate myself for letting it get so bad, I hate how it all went so wrong.

I hate that u will forever remain so alone n so sad, I hate that with you just ain’t where I belong.

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Change is in Range

Slowly sliding sideways

Losing hours caught in a gaze

No one recalls why, nor intends to but stay

Towers come undone tho we fought to keep them tall

Instead we just start gliding away

Off to new lands upon which we fall

All feel defenseless, just senseless

Lost for days in a daze

Each way you turn in the maze there’s a wall

Try not to fall, it’s no trick, just a trap

No trust merely the feeling of defeat

Slowly you see your backup deplete

Enemies become of every face you meet

All still trying to remain discreet

Just then, right now, or once again

Like I’m front row center n I still can’t find my seat

Lost and confused still gotta get outta the way

Time to get up and out before we run outta time to play

Seriously gotta get serious before it’s too late

No more tempting fate

Shock, or awe, just change up your state

Stop just sitting there dwelling on all that’s unfair

Or all the people who are never there

Stop depending on or defending everyone else

Time to get it together

Get up, grow up, and go on

Move on, you can still getcha groove on

Just gotta let go

Forget bout all the things people don’t show

Stop hiding and pretending you don’t know

Like you don’t ever have to grow

You can’t stay hiding forever behind innocence, like it makes no difference

You must realize one day it becomes ignorance

Next is arrogance, is any of this beginning to make sense?

Don’t be fooled by fools who couldn’t care less bout you

Deep down you know who you are n there’s no one who can stop you

So just do what you do

Always be true to that 1 person who matters the most

YOU

Too Little Too Late

Disturbed and distraught, an angry empty head void of all thought

Ruthless while useless, killing any good

Never doing what he knows he should I must walk away now, I’m not afraid

It’s time I leave him to sleep in the bed he has made

Never doing what is right, I doubt he will ever try

Remember that old saying “outta sight outta mind” for him it’s quite the opposite

He continues to push me, still he tries to lie

Just what will it take for him to see he is all he claims to defy

His games, his stunts, even his scores, none are ever enough

His greed is deep it’s engraved in his core

Don’t make a difference to him who gets hurt or who wins

All common courtesies and senses he deserts as soon as it begins

Only he matters, just his wants, not his needs

Every other he sees as lower class so he taunts them as he walks around planting seeds

His garden tho thrives in darkness and deceit

He is one we all wish to never meet

To your face or when ever it suits his plans he can be so respectful and kind

Tho when your back is turned or you happen to be in his way

He just flips, like he’s completely out of his mind

There’s no fixing for him, no way of helping him get thru

Trust me when I say if you try to help him he will eventually hurt you too

He hurts himself every single day, I can’t watch any more so now I refuse to stay

I’ll pack my things and I’ll walk away

Sadly he’s too far gone, and  believe it or not that really hurts me to say

I never expected he could become so irate, never imagined inside he brewed such hate

Now I have no choice but to move on without looking back, tho I wish him all the best

I don’t want to believe he can’t change but the games he plays are completely insane

Trying to help him any longer will only increase my own shame

The things he has done and said are hard enough to get outta my head

Sure he as apologized but I highly doubt he has yet recognized the extent of the damage he has done

Maybe one day I will find a way to forgive him

Today instead I must walk away sadly, thinking it’s all just a sin

©2013 Shavon Taylor

At The Plate

Life keeps on throwin’ me fast balls, umpires screamin’ swing and a miss

Don’t think for a second you can stop me with a few b.s. calls

Nobody else sees a strike, just more foul balls

Not shocked to see no body speaks up, they’re on his side

No surprise silenced are the sidelines

I am human tho so every once in a while I get a lil worried

Hell, sometimes I’m down right scared

No idea just how I’ll pull thru it, but let’s be honest

Not a single one of us is born prepared

Sure, we all spend time, and effort, even money trying to get there

I can’t help but wonder how many have actually pulled it off

I’d like to see a life lead by what was written in pen

Erasers don’t work so well on ink

Here’s what I think, you’d better pencil it in

You never know what’s around the next bend

A new enemy awaiting, or your next best friend

You never really can tell, and I’ve looked pretty hard

For those simple secret words, or some spell I could just cast

Fate may have already put your future on course

Just remember tho your the only one who may determine the significance of your past

It’s your choice to live and learn, or just light a match and watch it all burn

You are not the sum of the events you have encountered

You are not bound by all you have endured

Any mistake you feel you made, deep down only you can know the cure

Don’t waste time trying to create some elaborate excuse

You can’t lie to yourself so what’s the use?

Instead of the bad memories take the good

Be firm, you are so strong so live proud

Some time or another each and every one of us have been mislead, or misunderstood

Just the same, we all procrastinate we all have that list of “I should”

So take some time but make that choice to live the life you know you could

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Real is Worth a Try

Few understand I lead by my hand, always feeling my way thru

Completely in the dark, my observations are made

Odd persuasions attempted eventually fade

Instead we trade new perspectives for a new point of view

Refusing to be reflective faking crimes we’d rather let others commit

No memories now, how quickly we forget

Try gaining from loss?

Where is the towel we should toss?

Ring around the rosy, rings around her eyes

It took a ring upon her finger to realize the truth that all that’s real lies

Now filled with tears are her real eyes

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Fork This Road

I just can’t believe how things tend to work out for me

When I’m in the darkest place

When it feels like there is no light for me to see

Out of no where a window appears

It’s open widely to let the brightness shine thru

When I the road seems too rough for me to carry on,

And I don’t know what I’m going to do

Suddenly as I turn a corner that road is split in two

I see a somewhat smoother trail,

Although it doesn’t always look easy,

It’s one that…well it somehow just suits me

I will take this path

For me it will make a world of difference

Giving me the chance to change,

Allowing me to see how my life can make sense

I’ll stop living it in past tense

Moving up, moving on, moving forward

I can make all the bitterness,

All the pain simply fade away

If I only chose to live my life the right way

©2013 Shavon Taylor CloversAllover.com

Happiness

I lay awake at  night wondering how it all went so wrong

How could I let life slip away from me yet again?

How do I fix anything if I’m not sure how it’s broken?

How do I fix my heart if it’s no longer mine to repair?

How will I find happiness when all I see around me is sorrow?

Pain tends to be my closest friend, love the enemy I constantly battle

When I’m alone I try not to think, my heart plays tricks on my mind

I feel everything is best while it all falls upon the floor

How do I pick up the pieces of this shattered time

These hands, my hands are frozen, motionless just below the surface

I’m left grasping at thin air, one day I know I will find something solid

Until that day I’ll wear my mask of happiness for all to see, meanwhile hidden behind is a broken form of me

Happiness is the easiest emotion for others to see me portray, so readily believed

No one questions what seems so normal on the outside

If only you could see through the layers of this facade, or the energy it takes to maintain this image 

This game feels never-ending, certain to drag on 

Soon I will find a way love myself for myself

On that day I will find my own true happiness

©2010 CloversAllOver Shavon Taylor

Trophy case

I just wanted to take a moment and thank all those who have viewed and those of you who are actually following me!! It’s truly amazing to me how quickly everything can tally up!! I went into my “Trophy  Case”** which honestly even just opening it was sooooooo exciting for me but I was amazed at what I saw:

“My, aren’t you a prolific publisher! Take a look at all the achievements you’ve earned so far. Maybe you should blog about ‘em.”

LOL

I thought I would listen so here is my lil blurb on my lil blog  😉

Thanks again everyone ❤

 

**For non-bloggers:”Trophy Case” is where you get lil awards for things like 5 likes/followers, or 20 likes/followers etc.

All Anger Aside

Insanely infuriating at times when it seems I’ve completely lost my mind

Funny part is, it’s never my sanity I’m seeking, nope not what I’m trying to find

Just some insignificant object for some random project I’m doin’ just to kill time, fill the void

When that anxiety comes round I’m one you might actually want to avoid

It’s got nothin’ to do with you but I gotta let it out, or should I say take it out?

Either way I’m sure you’ll know what I’m talkin’ ’bout

So please just ignore it, or move along as I start to scream n shout, don’t take it personally

Whatever you do I only ask that you don’t point out the obvious or throw in your own sarcastic bitterness

That’s usually when my lil outbursts become a huge mess

I can’t…well won’t admit I’m wrong, not in the heat of the moment at least, that’s for damn sure

Silence I swear is the cure, hearing my own stupidity flung back at me

That unanswered accusation that usually makes no sense at all

Feelin’ a lil foolish and probably extremely embarrassed, I calm right down, and apologize real fast

See the truth is I am the best way to defeat me

Sayin that out loud even to me sounds so silly

Just know though truth is all I speak

I realized long ago it’s so not worth the work to keep up the lies

What’s the use in trying to hide?

Doesn’t it feel better to let everyone see what’s inside?

Wouldn’t life be that much easier if we all said exactly how we felt?

Better still exactly what we meant?

Things could be so incredibly different

Though it would help if more of us actually listened too

Maybe even did a lil more with our follow through

Hell, if that were the case I wouldn’t have to explain any of this to all of you

© 2013 Shavon Taylor

Give In or Given?

The flames lick at my conscience

Wondering would it really make that much difference?

Could it actually cause me that much harm?

Why is it evilness comes equipped with such charm?

As do the ones who do more damage than you could’ve imagined

Making it feel so incredibly right committing any sin

Knowing it’s wrong, still loosing control because it just feels so damn right

Evil never really lurks in the darkness,

Their faces aren’t hidden under hoods

No they are out in the open trying to tempt you with insanity disguised as delight

Drawing you nearer as the day moves closer to the shade of night

Twisting your insides, pulling you from any place you try to hide

Once you’ve experienced the taste

You can’t stop yourself from wanting more

The yearning is deep, so deep you can feel the pull right down to your core

Licking your lips as you think maybe just the tip

The tip of the iceberg, the height of the climb

I think I’m going to give in just this one time

©2013 Shavon Taylor

I Would, If I Could But You Can’t So We Won’t

If I could change the world, I would not change the color of the sky

Though I would break even the possibility of a lie

I wouldn’t change a single thing about a rainy day

Instead I’d make it so no one would ever again be lead astray

I would never change the meaning of a child’s laughter

If I could, I would fix the ways we think or ehat people were after

I’d still enjoy the sound of the bird’s song in the morning

I only wish I could prevent death or at least let there be more warning

I’d never want to stop a tear drop shed in joy

Though I’d happily erase all the greed, never another soul would it destroy

Even if I could I wouldn’t change the way I look at love

I wish though, I could replace the things we find so hard to let go of

I wouldn’t change my heart or even how much I care

If I could I’d transform the need for love to be equal with the need for air

I’d leave the beauty of every single sunrise and each and every sunset

Instead I would make us all forget the emotion of regret

I wouldn’t take any of the meaning in family or friends

If I could I would reinvent the way any tragedy ends

I’d erase the hate, replace the fakes, and make love the only thing worth a fight

I’d make it so no one could do wrong, and happiness would never again be gone

We could all still be different, I mean we don’t all have to like the same songs

I just want to make it so we don’t have to hurt to grow,

So we wouldn’t all have to learn damage control

No one would never have to wonder what’s right, because we would all just know

Then never again would there be an emotion we’d be too afraid to show

© 2013 Shavon Taylor

Comfortably Uncontrolled

A flurry of disaster, oh this blizzard I will master

I walk through this storm, albeit blindly

I have yet to see how these clouds bind me

I’ve merely seen a glimpse of the sunny field flowers

The thunder and lightning fuel my powers

Constantly crashing in upon the calm

Crushing dreams inside my own palm

Not willing to change one’s own ways

Inside I’ll stay for days and days

Trying to read others by what I’ve known

Thinkin’ all life’s lessons I’ve outgrown

I’ve learned all I must; I’m sure

By no means will I allow you to believe me pure

Innocent lil wind storms swirl into tornadoes

Unexpected showers become invincible undertows

My thoughts move mountains

My heart bathes in youth’s fountains

Although I know you will always remember me

Inside I am forgotten, no idea who I may be

Letting fate only take it’s course

Leave me alone in my remorse

Knowing all delusions made were my own

Complete insanity has become my home

How do you leave such a tiresome exciting place?

How do you say no to such an enticing face?

This hollow shell you think you know so well

This self-esteem comes straight from Hell

Letting go and living on

You will see me again,

In the crash of light we all call dawn

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Finally Free

As I contemplate all this change, I look around at all the good I’ve found.
Less than 6 months ago I had nothing, so in need.
The greed had taken over me, I’d lost myself.
Gone were my ideals, along with my moral ground.
Once you make up your mind you realize it takes so much less effort to live in the light.
Isn’t it funny how fast things can turn around?
It’s amazing how it all just feels so right!
Don’t be confused, I still battle my demons daily.
Yes it’s a bumpy ride but at least I’m back at the wheel.
I choose where my path shall lead.
I’m going the right direction this time, I can feel it.
Looking ahead now, that’s what I choose to do.
I will no longer look back with that aching dread.
For me; yesterday is gone, over, it’s dead.
My past is now where it belongs, where I have left it.
So it may never again define me, because today I am finally free.

© 2013 CloversAllOver Shavon Taylor

Who am I?

Few admit they know me, more so are those who knew me.
The ones who overcame, got bored of, or just outgrew me are the ones most often to speak freely.
No problem pointing fingers, yes they’re quick to name me.
I only wish that I could kill me, so as to never harm another like you.
To break my chains and forever remain the one you never knew.

I am leaving out the last line for the moment to give you a chance to try to guess. Would love to hear your thoughts or opinions…although I don’t think you can truly get the full effect of the poem with out the last line. That being said, happy guessing 🙂

© 2013 Shavon Taylor