New

I should probably thank you for making it easy not to make yet another incredibly terrible decision
Yet I still want to tell you that you can’t even begin to imagine what you’ll be missin’
Sure I’m a mess, an explosion of colour and commotion
Tho a heart so pure and full of emotion
I care beyond anything words could even describe
“Childish” some may say, voices stained with distain
I like to think I live lightly while shining brightly
When it comes to the children, man do I speak their language
We laugh and play in so much of the same ways
It should come as no surprise how easily we just understand it
Some may think me unsure
Can’t say I blame them, I tend to skip plans like flat rocks on a still water surface
Those things that matter most you may notice are those on which I refuse to sway
Keeping time with the beat isn’t quite the same as keeping to the time of day
Sure I play games, in fact I play all kinds
My one golden rule?
Never play with anothers heart or their mind
Not a sore loser
Even when it feels I lose all the time
I always dance in the rain
Weather it’s in or outdoors
Sometimes I linger for a moment longer
I like to do like the dew
As those drops fall they wash it all to start something new
I thought for a moment that rain had passed but this morning I think I’ll be dancing again too

Bully’s Buddy

Some may be surprised to know I was picked on quite a bit in school. There are only 2 occasions I sort of remember. The only reason I remember these 2 occasions is due to me being the victor as well as telling the story a few thousand times. lol! Think about it really tho of literally hundreds of thousands of interactions loaded with rude comments and just plain mean things that were said I only vaugely remember 2.The reason  I am pointing this out is I have a much stronger more vivid memory of a Bully’s Buddy:

Years later, well after high school I was working at Subway making a sandwich for a customer when another walked in. I paused to say “Hello, I’ll be right with you” then turned back to the witty conversation we had been in the midst of. I’m not sure what was said but I can tell you we were having a good laugh, of course at no one’s expense. I then turned unknowingly, to Bully’s Buddy who asked “Your Shavon right? Shavon Taylor?  You went to Hope Secondary right?” I was surprised! I had thought I’ve never seen this guy before in my life but I said “Yep, that’s me!” With a huge smile. To whic he replied “I knew it was you I could tell by your laugh” those of u who know me know exactly what he meant and that he must have known me. I’m sure I looked extremely confused, mostly because I really was! He said “I don’t know if you remember me but I know you remember the guys I called friends, they quite often made fun of you, I never did! I never said anything mean, but I did laugh and I didn’t say anything to stop them either. It has really bothered me and I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry.” I couldn’t believe what was happening. I think I said “Thank you.” It brings tears to my eyes just thinkin about that day, I was completely blown away. I know he told me his name but I don’t remember it. I wish there were more people like this man in the world, or better yet ones who do exactly what this man wished he had. Stand up for anyone being treated unfairly, put an end to the cruelty and the nonsense until it’s no longer in existance! I want to thank my Bully’s Buddy from the bottom of my heart, I can’t even begin to explain the difference your words have made…not just for me hopefully you inspired more to stand up instead of falling into line. Maybe more children will do the right thing and less will have to grow up through a childhood like mine.

Just Me

I know most must think me thoughtless

When in reality honestly, I wish I just thought less

Judge not lest ye be judged?

I’m the one judging myself every day

Questioning my reasoning 

Puzzled beyond understanding 

In the light of day I’m outstanding

Very lil do I worry about what I say or do 

In the blanket of night my doubt is resounding 

When I turn out the light it begins

The internal fight, my eternal struggle

Attempting to quiet my numbing mumbling 

Next I’m annoying myself, thinking back remembering my off moments

That’s when it begins trying to retrace, to erase entire days 

Thinking of all the lil things, the stupid, silly, unimportant things

I’ve come to realize this process is unnecessary 

Who cares if I’m unruly, as long as I’m Me completely and truly 

I may make mistakes, so what

 I’m human 

So sue me

If you don’t like what you see then maybe that’s cuz you’re not really lookin at me

If you are then your just upset cuz you know I’m nothing like you 

I’m just Me

ūüíö

The Line

I donno what goes throught your mind.

I donno what you think let alone how you feel.

I donno how to make it better, in fact I think I’ve failed each time I’ve tried.

If I told you I don’t need you, I’m tellin you right now I lied

If I told you I’m ok and then turned n walked away, you should know I cried. 

At the too of my stairs, wishin on stars made  no difference.

Find myself wishing I could escape this place.

Escape reality, break the confines 

Brightly irratic

I’m the color outside the lines

I have no power falling petal by petal just a delicate flower.

Loiked you in the eye, how could you have known I lied?

I gotta face the truth I’ll never be with you, you never were mine.

Just wanna see your smiling face around all the time.

If your wondering how I’m doin don’t ask just know I’ll be fine.

We both know it’s the end of the line. 

Halloween

Hall ‘o’s eve
Oh hallowed eve
Hollow is this this evening
Paint dripping from my face, quick paced away from this place
Internally screaming
Eternity haunting, grieving
Leaving
Unfeeling
I’m reeling
So deceiving, no descriptions 
New prescription, yet no healing
Barely breathing this hallowed hollow evening
Awaited invitation
Perceived pain revealing a darkend  endless swirling ceiling
On the floor want this hurt no more
Pawing, clawing, crawling
Hall ‘o’s eve not naive
I felt you leave me this hallowed hollow howled evening

Giving Thanks

Giving thanks for the encouragement, every step along the way
For the times you held my hand when you must have wanted to slap my face
For the non-judgmental ear and for disproving each and every fear
For the enlightenment during the darkest paths
For never giving up or giving in, tho giving all you had to help me win
For always following thru, never letting me down
For ignoring all the times I was blind, as I see clearly now
For always reminding me to look up at the horizon when I wanted to fall to the ground
For the times you steered me vertically, where ever you chose to lead I knew it was to keep from hurting me
For knowing one day I would realize the reasoning behind all you’d done, knowing none of it was ever done in vain
For every deep breath and every tear shed that you reminded me only washed away the pain
For saving me from the entire world when I thought I was merely some lost forsaken soul
For spinning me around and round, tho not to make me dizzy; but to keep me busy when I just wanted to run away
For not holding me back, or tying me down and for every bit of love I have ever found
I thank you for always being true and always being you
Lastly I thank you for loving me and always allowing me to be just that
Just me
©2015 Shavon Taylor                 ♥Clovers All Over♥

Unperfected

A wrecking ball comes crashing through

Tearing down all the walls around you

A life altering step forward or downward falter

It depends on how you look at the land

Do you see what could be or hold on to the memory of what use to stand

Do you shed light on the darkness or dwell on what you miss

Would you choose to love those you have hurt or hurt those that you love

In the garden do you play in the dirt or would you prefer gloves

Rainy days I swear are the best, no silence to be found

Do you enjoy or protest, soaking up the sounds or search for dry ground

So much you can tell of a person by what causes their misery

So hard to tell fairy tales from mysteries

We’ve all got our story, our own version of perversion

If we could all just remember the past is history and each day is a chance to make happier memories

Maybe we’d all be just a lil more carefree

©2015 Shavon Taylor                                    ♥CloversAllOver♥

Life Of The Unknown

A whole new life awaits just around the bend

Beware of the jagged rocks scattered throught the trail

Low hanging vines threaten to strangle your sight

Sure footing the only way to continue forward

The key to making it happen?

A stable foundation, knowing where you stand

All the while never sure where the path may lead

Hopping from one moment to the next

Seeking stability in each step

Every hand reaching from the darkness has it’s own agenda

It’s own mark to leave in your past

Some lifting, gliding, guiding palms

Others crushing, punching, punishing fists

Watch your step,

Potholes and landmine plague this field of dreams

A moment’s hesitation could seal your fate

Thoughts so easily slip away like sand in the wind

Time drifts away in the breeze

All swirling, whirling, confused and confined within itself

Memories bottled on a shelf slowly growing dust

All mashed together to form a surprisingly elegant collage

A single frame to contain all of them seems impossible

A tight squeeze to say the least

Instead they become lost moments once held so dear

Locked away in the darkest corners of our minds

Leaving us lost to the emotions of our hearts

We all find a seat in the empty hall for now,

knowing we will be called soon

Empty, void of all answers

Only questions remain in this Life Of  The Unknown

©2015 Shavon Taylor                                         ♥CloversAllOver♥

Decypher Me

He thinks my attention is momentary  

Best way to attain it he believes is merely negative means

He sees me as a cynic, a dreamer too afraid to dream

Claims I’m hurtful and hateful,with¬†a hole where my heart should be

Moment by moment his opinion changes of me

He expects changes from me, lays it out truthfully unknowing of the pain inflicted so cruelly

Trying to help me without tying me down, tearing me down

Unfairly I expect him to know how much my choices already weigh

Unjustly I only want for him to trust me

Pushing or pulling, none will ever move me

My emotions flash and flare with each flick of wind

Sadly sharing its strength with his words,

Each linguistic blow knocks that same wind from my sails

Stuck as the water grows stale, stagnant

The sweet salty air becomes sour, sticky, sickly

I’m finding it hard then harder to breathe

If only he knew how badly I need for him to just believe

Not to cast stones nor remind me of my crutches nor falls and fails

How could he not see, I am aware if I continue this way I may never grow

No need to point out my flaws, that’s not the attention I crave nor desire

His affection I wish could be my only infection,

Instead I’m left licking salt from my freshly healing wounds at his discretion

It may seem I don’t care, or ever plan to change

The truth is my dear; far, far more strange

I love that you make me feel loved,

You remind me of how it felt to be happy

I appreciate you showing me opportunity in all that could be

Just please; I beg of you when you do, to do so kind and gently

I understand it pains you to see me destroying my self,

Bear in mind though I do so very well already

All by myself

Realistically I am in no need of help

©2015 Shavon Taylor CloversAllOver

Reconditioning Me Too

What may not make a difference to most may make a world of difference to a few

It’s all in personal preference, honestly just how are you to know

I only wish more would attempt to gain a sense of what’s important¬†

Everyone has their own ways, those little things that drive them insane or may leave them feeling incomplete

Some it seems even claim these as “needs” and declare it to be set in stone

One may actually come completely undone, demanding you must learn

Sure to set the tone voicing with contempt, their disgust of your utter disregard or unconcern

An entire day may suffer for the underestimation of importance of such seemingly petty things

In this particular instance how could you have known the significance

Suddenly they’ve got you walking a wire without a hint of realization

For you something so superficial or miniscule would make not a bit of difference

No reason you should suffer consequence for a specification you were never even shown

You should not be held accountable for others lack of sharing, it’s not for lack of caring

Sadly not having the knowledge of their requirements was through no fault of your own

If they seem to be unstable; if words spoken when they protest lack tact, no manners shown

If they¬†start tearing u to shreds with merely a vehement voice maybe it’s time to tell them to go home

No need for u to heed such anger nor to accommodate such impossible requests when they become so irate

Ignore the frustration wrongfully directed at you and say “Sorry friend that’s the best I can do”

©2015 Shavon Taylor ♥CloversAllOver♥

Unrivaled

Take care when you unravel. 
Take care when you lift the veil.
See the storm swirls so ravenously,
Yet you hold the power to unravel me. 

A wife you may see so,
Do so tenderly when you lift that veil.
I will not lie and say I am not a mess.
Truth be told, I am everything I am meant to be!

I do not try to love you,
This comes o so naturally.
Do not be scared to see me
Do not fear you can not save me, 
For you already have!

Unravelled, unveiled, unbelievably,
You already understand how to stand beside and behind me!

So take care when you take me,
For when you do you will forever have ALL of me!

Untrained

Imperfection meets impurity?

Binded or blinded, it’s insecurities to which we are bound

Losing sight or losing grip?

It’s all the same just another slip

A slight misstep or a complete free fall

Does it honestly matter after all?

We should be looking forward expectantly instead we focus on all we lack

Refusing to remember reflectively, must we tear everything apart dissectingly?

Decisively deciding each choice made was not chosen but was inevitability

Can we not see the goodness left, only all that has been destroyed?

Change isn’t always for the best tho sometimes you’d be surprised

Just remember you’re not so different from the rest, nor are you the same

¬©2015 Shavon Taylor “CloversAllOver”

It Is What It Is? (I cannot stand this saying!!)

Isn’t it amazing how one voiced perception can sway so many in a completely different direction?

Some try to make it seem easier to follow offering infinite protection

Assuring you that you shall never again feel or  fear that cruel sting of rejection

They won’t ask much, no one expects perfection

“So long as you listen closely and do things exactly the way I say, you will find no need for correction”

So easily some are entangled in their  webs of deceit

Having you believe you’re winning when in reality you’ve unwittingly accepted defeat

Who could have known all alone you might feel more complete

Sadly I’ve come to realize I can rarely trust the smiling faces I meet

Tho I try not to forget each and every one of us is unique

Unfortunately there are so few left who have remained sweet

The ones you know you can always count on in your time of need

Those amazing few left unconsumed by that terrible greed

They‚Äôre there with only a moment’s notice, not a single hesitation nor a single second wasted waiting for you beg and plead

The ones who not only mean what they say, but always say exactly what they mean

© Shavon Taylor 2014

The more I hear people say this the more it bothers me! It is what it is? How about it is whatever you make of it!!!!!

Who the F*ck are You?

Time to take this world by storm

just wait till they  see what i got in store

Fakes n phonies just thrown to the floor

That’s rite I‚Äôm at the plate n it ain‚Äôt dinner time, not commercial, industrial, nope not even coffee break

Imma crash down on em all so f*ckin hard you’ll feel thunder shake the earths core

Next comes lightning flash so brite ya lose sight

blinded, so now how u think you gonna fight?

My fame’s gonna spread like a bad rash

Albums passed ‚Äėround like free cash

Everybody wants their piece of my sweet sweet pie

Guess what b*tches none of y’all were there

Not quite fair you didn’t see me n my inevitable fate

I bet sum people even getting a lil irate cuz ya just didn’t stack up

Now you’re claiming you‚Äôre rite there,

Like now your my back up?

Too good for me then, or just too f*ckin soup solid pretendin’ to be friends?

In reality you just had your backs up

You didn‚Äôt stand up when ya heard em talkin’ sh*t

That’s ok tho, that’s when I was busy writn’ this sh*t

News flash:

I don’t give a f*ck ‚Äėbout you

Sure i did then, back when i thought you saw the power in me

Na, powerless more like what you thought of me

Instead you just tried taken advantage of me

Funny thing is:

Good things come to those who wait

Treatin’ me like lower class, trailer trash or better yet just 2nd rate?

Not once did you offer to clear your plate,

Banquet hall sittin’ in front of me then

Now you come to me wantin’ your just desserts?

Most of y’all ain’t gonna like it‚Ķ

Mud pie extra worms

F*ck sum of you i‚Äôd pay to watch eaten ‚Äėem while they squirm

You just laughed while u watched me fall

Well now how bout you try n uncry all those tears? Nope!

It’s exactly what you feared

This sleeping beauty just woke the f*ck up

Grabbed a Hoover n sucked her sh*t up

Many ppl who claim they knew me back when, they never knew me

N I aint givin’ another clue out for free

I was an open book to anyone who’d listen as I was trying to find myself

Now I remind myself, I  did it by myself and I’d do it again

true i’ve f*cked up ain’t saying that’s why I’m proud

Everyone slips, sum stumble sometimes even crumble

Maybe just for now I forgot to be humble but nows my time to shine so I think it’s Okay…

act like you knew me?

WHO THE F*CK AM I TODAY?

 

©2014 Shavon Taylor

Family Tree

Where problems seem apparent,
May not mean it’s all relative
If for a second you feel the need to seek help don’t give it a 2nd thought
I’ll take your hand, I’ll pull you back up
If we both stretch and still I cannot reach worry not for I’ll find you a branch
It rarely is as hard as it may seem, especially if we work as a team
Brother, sister, friend you’re of the same worth¬†to me
I’ll do everything in my power to make your wish my will
I’ll catch you falling right out of the sky or just out of this family tree
Whomever, whatever it is you seek you will always find faith in me
I’ll fight fire with water from your “Dark Sea”
Fear will be all that drowns today
I will help you to see it can’t continue on this way
Even if I have to carry you I promise you we will make it thru to a new day

©2014 CloversAllOverShavonTaylor

Please Help Leiland get to Children’s Hospital

Lieland is 3 years old and suffers from epilepsy, his Mother (my friend and ex co-worker) Sheena suffers from SSMS: Struggling Single Mom Syndrome. In all seriousness she is having a very hard time not only coping with the diagnosis of her son, but now the actual act of getting him to and from the hospital for MRI scans and specialist appointments.

She lives over an hour drive from said hospital. The worst part for her is now depending on others to get herself and her children safely there and back. Sheena is a very independent person, who generally won’t let anything stand in her way of remaining so. She could walk or bus where ever she needed to get with her boys until now. There is a fine she couldn’t afford to pay off a couple of years ago due to the SSMS. She had almost completely forgotten it existed.

Now the insurance company has piled on mass amounts of interest to the already too expensive fee she already has to pay! She has¬†been paying it off for 7 months and the amount owed has only gone down $800. She still owes over $2000 so as you can see at this rate it won’t be paid off for almost 3 years!

She was given a day notice that her son was scheduled for an MRI March 22nd. She got a ride with a family member there, when they arrived tho Leiland had a seizure forcing them to put the MRI off and almost meaning they had to spend the night in the hospital. When they were finally given the ok to go home Sheena called her friend who was going to pick her up earlier without realizing said friend had to work, she was planning to pick them up, drop them off then head straight to work. Sheena and her boys then waited for their ride at the hospital for 5 Hours!

For those of you who saw my previous post on the same topic, thank you for yet again reading this one. I have no job no money at all, I can’t offer much help in that respect. What I do have is my blog, my Google+, Tumblr, my Facebook Page and Group, as well as a Facebook Group I just started for Sheena, my¬†Twitter account, my website with her¬†Gofundme¬†account¬†link to share on every one!

If you can’t afford to donate you can still help,

PLEASE Like, Share, Re-blog, Re-post, Re-Tweet, Join the page and invite others, whatever it takes to get the people who can help to see it!

http://www.gofundme.com/75ey64

^^The link to donate^^

https://www.facebook.com/groups/PleaseHelpLeiland/

^^The Facebook group^^

I wanted to personally thank D.J. Whisenant from thesewordsiwrite2012.wordpress.com for the one and only share I am aware of from my last post via Twitter, tho I believe he has now shut that account down in hopes to have a more personal connection with people or I would share the link to that as well. I do like the idea tho of more personal connections so good on him!

Thanks everyone and God bless!

Ever After?

How do you continually say such hurtful sh*t?

Next you apologize then I’m just supposed to forget?

Like it all just goes away?

How can you say you don’t mean the things you say,¬†

When you say the exact same as you said yesterday?

How can you say you love this person you so venomously describe?

How can you spit such hate, while looking me dead in the eyes?

How do you believe you love me when all other evidence proves¬†you’re¬†beginning to hate me?

Why is it such torture when we are together?

Who am I trying to kid, when we’re apart it ain’t much better

Every breath, every moment, every word seems to go completely unheard, unnoticed

Underestimated is the pain of such misunderstandings

Tell me, honestly if we haven’t figured out how to be happy together¬†yet, do you think we ever can be?

If we still spend every night like this will you ever attempt to understand me?

I realize nothing I do seems right to you,

I do things a lil differently than most I’ll admit

To be completely fair tho, it’s not like I kept it a secret

What is it you used to love about me?

‚ÄčDid I somehow change so immensely, or did you just finally let go¬†of¬†trying to make me the person you think I ought to be?

Once you say something you can’t just take it back

There’s always some truth behind it,¬†no matter how hard the attack

Some I wish you could undo tho because they feel like the sharpest knives in my heart and trying to slice right thru

My heart that’s where you generally aim your linguistic¬†sword, always going¬†for¬†the kill shot

Each blow hurts so much more than you may have thought 

Yet I get back up, trying to hold on only to be pushed back down again

Fighting so f*cking hard to just ignore the pain while refusing to show my shame

I truly am so lost you know, no matter how hard I look I rarely seem to find my way anywhere

Do you really think I float so freely thru life, nothing in my head but air?

If only you could peek inside and see all these damn thoughts weighing down on me

I’m like a chameleon always in the background, seeming¬†to¬†blend¬†right in

I just can’t keep up the fight any more, it’s really beginning¬†to¬†look¬†like neither one ofus will ever win

Hurting each other instead over and over,

every day and every night

Aren’t you tired from this fight,¬†

because honestly it looks like there’s no end in sight

©2014 Clovers All Over

River Rock Walkin’

Down by the river pickin’ up some heart rocks
No music, just a few friends, even fewer talks
Serenity sensationally silencing, surprisingly
Lost in awe, thoughts contained, far from drained
Energy in fact picking up with the winds whim
Worries turn to wonders
While the wisdom washes away all cares
Nothing like the feeling of the crisp morning air
Chills to the bone like ripples around the crashing waves
Almost reminiscent of more youthful days
Soft soothing sloshing sounds slowly seeping in subconsciously
Finding myself reminding myself not to listen too intently
So easily I can get lost in my own thoughts
The mind almost begging for the change in the air to rub off
Hours can pass as quickly as the clouds
If I get caught in a daze
Sometimes it’s hard to see thru the misty morning haze
Even on some of the clearest days
©2014 Shavon Taylor @ Cloversallover.com

Forgotten Forest

I wonder if you seek your happiness in the same way I seek mine

With such cold calculation realizing there is none there to find

Saying with such pride “I’m ready to change”

In similarity do you too hide?

Afraid to accept a challenge, too timid to rise to your feet?

Too embarrassed and ashamed to ever admit defeat

“I’m in control of my life and what I say goes”

Somehow find it hard to shake that dreadful feeling that maybe you’re wrong

 Or worse, maybe it shows

Hiding in anger for its so easy to find

All that’s¬†needed is to press rewind Enough fuel to feed the fire and keep it burning hot

Haunted by the past even by some things you thought you forgot

You never know tho when they just might reappear

From the foggy forgotten forest, to the cripplingly crystal clear

That sad actuality that each cold and empty nite  is exactly what you chose

Loneliness lingers longer than laughter

Especially when you feel it right down to your toes

‚Ä謩2014 Shavon Taylor ¬†CloversAllOver.com

Wild Smile

Isn’t it funny the way life twists and turns?

So unsure of all those who lurk around

Can every face I meet some how be impure?

I can’t help but notice the pressure, the weight on every set of shoulders I see

I wish there were a way for me to lift off that stress

To make it feel like all the worlds troubles just weighed less

Tho how would life look if we all floated around weightless

A world full of air heads who couldn’t care less?

To walk the journey without feeling the rain can you imagine?

What then would make us realize our worth?

For without struggle there would be no victories

No accomplishments, not a single thing would make sense

Still I’m stuck here seeing these upset faces,

These Ghosts that have taken conscience places

Blank stares, lost with no dreams

Still I beg of you how can I help?

For without conscience you won’t stop,¬†

Without dreams you’ve no goals

Nothing to aim for 

Nothing to push you that extra inch, or often that mile

The one and only thing I have found,

That makes even the smallest difference to the people standing on either side of the fence

Is a smile

My smile I swear has impossible powers

It’s as though those around me can’t help but to join me

No matter their current status, famed or feared

My smile is one to be revered

For a brief second everyone’s worries just disappear¬†

If only for that quick hello, or head nod, even mere eye contact becomes some sort of smile contract

Love me or hate me you simply couldn’t stop the muscles if you tried

Don’t think you too can’t change the world in some small way too,

Simply be sincere with every smile and let your heart shine through

Watch as even the darkest souls smile back at you

©2014 Shavon Taylor  CloversAllOver.com

Changing Spots Don’t Stop

Stalled, distracted, annoyed yet not destroyed

Just a lil perturbed, no calls?

Won’t react let it all fall away instead and just take this time to play

Stressing and worrying

Debating and contemplating

STOP

In my head thoughts swirl while in my hair my finger twirls

BOUNCE

I’m ready to pounce

This kitty cat’s on the prowl

What sound will you stir from her, a pleasured purr or a playful growl

Will you give her creepy chills or will she show you her sneaky thrills

Either ways she’s quite a cheeky girl

She’s sleek and she’s slick

Quick quips slip from her lips

When you approach you’re unsteady and unsure

Will she let you pet her, are your intentions pure?

Does she really even care, who knows she might just take you right there

Duality for which she can’t be blamed

One side reserved and refined, the other just unruly, she’ll never be tamed

Which of her 9 lives will you have the pain or pleasure to endure?

Will you accept the challenge of this changeable cheetah?

If you wish to say yes, I do hope you’re sure

©2014 Shavon Taylor

Cloversallover.com

Aching Acres

Windless whispers

Rustling sound of hushed secrets

Lost in the dusk

That twilight hour Before night gives way to black darkness

The scariest time of all

Lone dew drop in a desert

The last chance of survival

Can’t let those big fish swallow you no

So small and insignificant you  seem imaginatively

Immensely winding woods

Tightly knit forest of dreams

Thoughts pop to memories

New beginnings from sad endings

A fog has drifted, dispersed

Slowly slippin on this slope

Up about it all I will float

Looking down, wondering, hoping, considering

Change is in the breeze

Change no longer a disease

Shifting slightly, Walking, talking lightly

Letting it all just fall

This time it must work

This time I’ll find the answers to it all

©2014

http://cloversallover.com/legend–key-.html

Please Heed My Warning

GREED:

The most common source of violence world wide, the single worst emotion grown by far too many, the incurable hunger without harvest, the one thing that can drive you to do anything; even that ONE thing you never thought you could do. It infects minds, inflicts pain, brews anger and hatred in a revolting stew of aggression mix it with passion and what you will find is a disgusting, disfigured, dysfunctional, demon that only aims to destroy us all.

BEWARE: FOR NONE ARE TRULY EVER SAFE FROM THE EMOTION MOST EQUATE TO NEED 

©2014 Shavon Taylor

Put a Finnish to it, Canadian Babies Should go in Boxes!

I just read this article and it literally brought tears to my eyes!

Why Canadian babies should sleep in cardboard boxes like Finnish babies do”-The Globe and mail

The fact that the government won’t cover maternity leave unless you have paid into E.I. is bad enough, but to look at the children in Canada and the national poverty crisis! How many expectant mothers don’t even bother to see a doctor before they have no choic? The incentive plan the finnish have put in action is quite clearly an effective one! Their message is a comforting and supportive one, a small guesture that says “You matter and so does our baby.” Yes OUR baby, that baby will grow in OUR country, be taught in OUR schools, follow OUR laws, and become an essential part of our community. Don’t we want OUR children to grow up in the same nurturing and healthy environmen? Don’t we want OUR children to proudly say “I am Canadian!”? Please help me tell the Canadian governement it’s time to stop attempting to hide our problems in the boxes they keep in the back on the top shelf and start putting babies in them, with love and care in hopes to help each and every one get the start at life they deserve!

 Please sign the petition I created in hopes of providing a better beginning for a brighter tomorrow. Canadian babies can go in boxes too!
Thanks,
Shavon Taylor‚ô•

Breakdown or Breakthrough

I get so incredibly frustrated because it feels like I’m running out of time  

That and the fact that no matter how I try, I just can’t keep you off my mind

I‚Äôve said I‚Äôve let you go, but can’t bring myself to actually do it

You say you have no feelings for me, but I truly believe there’s much more to it

Driving me crazy as even the smallest sings you refuse to acknowledge

It’s so hard for me, living life precariously teetering on the edge

Mere moments from my next break, never knowing if it will be down or through

Funny thing is no matter which way I lean, it seems I’m always leanin’ on you

The one person who believed in me when no one else would

The only one to try to help me escape a world that you just never could

I’m not sure what you want from me, if anything at all

The one thing I do know is, you’re always there to help me up after every single fall

I can’t thank you enough for all you helped me through

I just wish there was a single thing in this world I wanted, more than I desire you

© 2013 Shavon Taylor CloversAllOver

Fantasized Fame

Fantasized Fame

Fantasized Fame

Takin’ power from the ground, always in motion

This chick ain’t slowin’ down for no one

I’m bout to claim my crown and show¬†¬†these fools I’m not¬†clownin’ around

Got the kinda energy none can master

They just can’t keep up with me, not that I’m even¬†the one they’re after

I chase ’em down just for fun, love to watch ’em turn to run

Some people like games but I’m not one to be¬†playin’ around

Y’all think I’m lost now that I’m finally found?

Tryin’ to turn this sh*t off¬†ain’t

Sorry if now it seems I’m only¬†tryin’¬†to please me

We may not be able to fool each other but we can fool ourselves easy enough

Every body’s got their story, the things they like to call rough

I’m not about to compare, I’d rather not see just how little you care

So much time I have spent¬†helpin’ the hindered

Now that I’m lost no help left to be delivered You think I’m undeserving?

For me there seems to be less understanding

Watching my world crumble to the floor still I’m¬†helpin’ the homeless to a door

Pickin’ up the shattered bits off the dizzying floor

Piecing them back together so they fit back in your frame

Finding time to clean up other’s messes I couldn’t even try to explain

Hang it back up on your wall

Catchin’ ¬†you¬†right outta the sky, no more free fall

So you once again can reminisce on the good times and all that you once enjoyed

Helpin’¬†families find focus, yet I’m still unemployed

Can’t move ahead if I keep¬†lookin¬†back

I just wish I knew which cards to throw away in order to get the right ones from the stack

Gotta stay on track keep my focus on the main goal  

Maybe try judging the pot against the toll

Can’t keep¬†goin’¬†all in for all of you

It’s ’bout damn time I start thinkin’ bout me too

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Stepping it up

Stepping It Up

I demand the respect you all expect for yourselves, and it’s about time

The way I allowed myself to be treated should be a crime

A crime on humanity, only showing my humility

Funny isn’t it, seeing the doormat step up to the plate

I’m done with the boys, no more 2nd rate

First class all the way, I called shot-gun and up front is where I plan to stay

Hold on tight now because you’re in for quite a ride

In the shadows I will no longer hide   I can and I will live to love myself

Taking all my insecurities and puttin’ ’em on the shelf

Won’t let you drive me crazy constantly waiting and wanting more

No more will I be pickin’ my heart up off the floor

You can’t hack this heart, good luck with around the world

How ’bout right down the drain where my brain often swirls

Up outta the gutter ¬†I am amazing and you’d be lucky to have me

Didn’t I say I was done?

I didn’t stutter, maybe you didn’t quite hear me

Though I know I spoke quite clearly

Honestly I don’t like repeating myself, I don’t speak just for fun

So if you don’t have the time to listen, please don’t bother to ask

This communication thing really shouldn’t be such a difficult task

I must say listening is nowhere near as important as actually hearing

What is it exactly about the words I’m saying that your fearing?

The fact that I might be right or that you might actually be wrong?

You said we could never last, yet I’ve stuck around now for how long?

How many times have we said goodbye?

How many tears have I, will I cry?

It doesn’t really matter in the end honestly

I have finally realized I don’t need you or anyone

I have everything I will ever need, it’s just the same as all I will ever be

ME

Saves Me

Saves Me

I honestly don’t think I’ve stayed so quiet in my entire life

I knew not a single word I said could comfort you

As if your frustrations with life weren’t enough¬†

You’ve now taken on mine too

No matter how hard I wished there was anything I could say

Deep down I knew silence was the only way

For me to actually just keep my mouth shut was really a great feat

I thought of the things I wanted to say, wordlessly in my seat

Holding my breath in attempt to hold back tears

In the void of all noise my head began filling with fears

Fears of loosing you completely

Fears that this quiet would defeat me

As you know I enjoy almost every second spent next to you

Even here mouth clamped shut wondering what I should do

So for now I’ll continue to hold my hopes up real high next to my dreams

Noiselessly pushing away the inner voice trying so hard to scream

I realize you had no intention to hurt me,

In fact that’s the only thing you have ever stated clearly

You even did so right from the start

You never asked me to give you the key to my heart

I swear tho, I will never speak again if the word you’re seeking is goodbye

It’s so hard in this dead air not to allow myself to cry

I’m not sure I will ever get thru to you,

I doubt I’ll even understand you, let alone the things you do

The only thing I do know is this

You really do drive me completely crazy,

Almost as much as you amaze me 

 

©2013 Shavon Taylor

The Fight: It’s for You so it’s Alright

So easily I lose sight
Suddenly so weary from the fight
Forcing myself to carry on thru all the hurt and  pain
Trying to prove to no one but myself, I really am sane
The crazy is merely my surroundings, it can’t actually be me
This whirlwind you all claim to see, the one you say I choose to be
There’s so much good I could gain if I could only gain control
Instead I keep taking on more and more adding to my plate that’s already too full
No one sees all that I take on every second of every day
I continue to help others as I fall, I don’t know how but I always find a way
Refusing to let them see my struggle,  I try so hard to hide
That’s okay tho helping others never  messes with my flow
I’ve got all the time in the world, so I‚Äôll take my time to grow

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Defend

Leaves fall faster when we stop to think

The earth spins slowly when he starts to drink

My emotions flow ravenously when I express

Time to grab hold, erase this mess

Always hold fast to your dreams,

Admire the beauty in every scene

Focus on yourself, your well-being

Tho don’t forget to watch what goes on around you

Find and gain strength in all that surrounds you

Let nothing, not anyone hold you back

None should you allow to drag you down

Life should be a journey, not a job

Enjoyment should always come first at home

In fact it’s almost all that matters

This time respect and appreciation are demanded

Refusing to stay like all the times before,

Know she won’t be leaving¬†¬†empty-handed

“No¬†longer will I be walked on”

It’s her turn to come out on top,

She’ll be holding the heart this time

I can’t continue watching it all unravel

As it sincerely breaks mine

That’s it, that’s all, not another “fall”

She’s starting a new chapter

That’s right she’s finally moving on

No more waiting, watching, wanting more for you

No longer will she lie down

leaving herself open to your abuse

Now and forever she’s

GONE

©2013 Shavon Taylor

7 Rules of Friendship

1. No matter what the situation or the opposition you are ALWAYS on your friend’s side

1b. Even if you are completely aware they are lying/wrong
1c. You can always find out their reasoning later
1d. If the opposition happens to be your significant 
other please refer to one of the following clauses
      "Chicks before d*cks" or "Bros before h*es"

2. If you hear one of my pretendafriends talkin’ negatively behind my back and you say nothing then or to me, you are now in the pretendafriend category and if I do hear it from a true friend you will be treated as such

3. If you can’t laugh with me, don’t laugh at me

4. If we haven’t talked in a while and it’s been even longer since we have seen each other, that does not lessen our bond, in fact I believe it only makes it stronger

5. If I look/sound like a complete idiot tell me so I can fix it don’t let me make it worse

5a. Please refer to #3 

6. At any point in time if you feel you need me CALL ME, No matter where I am, who I’m with, what I’m doing (or suposed to be doing) I will be there for you NO MATTER WHAT

6a.I won’t say I expect te same from you (Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed)

6b.I will say real friends will not even bother aknowledging 6a. because we both know that’s for the pretendafriends

7.¬†IF YOU CAN’T TAKE OR MAKE A JOKE GTFO!!

‚̧ You guys, no need for shout outs, if you find your self wondring if your name would be among the unmentioned list, maybe you should consider why you are unsure, then LET ME KNOW so we can work on our…

FRIENSHIP

ILOVE THAT SH*T

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Amityville Ink by Shane Walkem~ My Friend and Body Artist

http://amityvilleink.yolasite.com/

Meet Shane Walkem of¬† Amityville Ink the most amazing tattoo artist I have EVER met, not only does he have an amazing artistic ability but he’s a genuine, down to earth, honest, guy with a great sense of humor (Thank God!) I tend to go a wee bit over board with my humor and some people just can’t take it! Shane by far is not one of those people, in fact he’s quite the opposite. A truly rare gem these days to be honest!

Anyway let’s get back to the Art of the body, I personally have 3 pieces Shane not only tattooed but literally brought to life! When you get a tattoo you generally (well most people at least) have an idea of what they want and usually the picture of it is pretty clear in their minds. (I will touch back on this, funny story so just keep reading).

The first time I went to see Shane this was exactly the case for me I wanted a tattoo and I wanted it NOW (a few of mine were quite spontaneous decisions, still I regret none!) more specifically I wanted a music note with the bottom bubble part in the shape of a heart on my wrist with some meaningful words to me at the time inside, the trick was I wanted the wording to be my skin not the tattoo (basically colored around the words instead). He kindly pointed out the flaws in my plan, it would need to be much larger than I had planned or the ink would just finish filling it in for me eventually, yes probably not for years but “A tattoo is for life, the design should be too!”

I was amazed, I mean I know there are a lot of people out there who wouldn’t tell me this in fear of losing a client. With Shane he really would rather not have a client than to have an unsatisfied client! I really wish more companies, even people were as sincere and honest! He even pointed out the fact that the way I wanted it was actually backwards. LOL! That part really didn’t bother me so much, I wanted it to “go with the flow of my body” I had said.

What he came up with is SOOOOO much better than the image I had in my head, he called it “shading” at the time. Coincidentally it ¬†looks like¬†(to me at least)¬†crashing waves with mountains and storm clouds in the background. Which is me 100% that’s all I’ll say about that for now, if you have read some of my poems you already probably understand. This post tho isn’t really about me….well at least I don’t want the MAIN focus to be on me.

http://amityvilleink.yolasite.com/

The first of my Amityville Ink collection by Shane Walkem

My second piece I wanted a ladybug behind my ear with its wings open. This time tho ¬†Shane had a¬†¬†lil bit of time to actually design it, well go figure just seconds before he is about to show me what he’s come up with I decided it would be wicked if he can make it in the shape of a heart! No problem a couple more minutes and I have a few of his ideas mapped out in full color and amazingly accurate! The winner was a simple choice tho and the funny part is he had thought that would be the one I wanted too! I love it!!! The process was great too, call me crazy but I actually really enjoyed it! ¬†So much so that I decided my¬†next piece would go behind my other ear.

http://amityvilleink.yolasite.com/

2nd peice at Amityville Ink by Shane Walkem

This is the funny story mentioned in the beginning, I ran into¬†Shane Walkem¬†at a mutual friends house on my payday! “Oh what luck” I¬†had thought, “I want another tattoo!!” Well I could see he was in the middle of his artistic process on a guy who didn’t seem to be having the same awesome experience I did. (I have heard women are built to endure pain a lil better than men, considering they give birth I have a feeling that is a somewhat accurate statement.) I won’t say getting ink doesn’t hurt, tho I will say for ME it really is almost the exact opposite! Now I realize I am extremely terrible with money, so I asked¬†Shane Walkem¬†if I could possibly pre-pay him for my next tattoo, his obvious next question “of what?” My ridiculous answer? ” I don’t know yet, something behind my ear!” and the “wittiest response of all time” award goes to….Shane Walkem¬†“Oh ya, I’ll put¬†something¬†behind your ear no problem” ūüėČ

http://amityvilleink.yolasite.com/

The nauticalness was an idea he almost regretted mentioning! I’m so glad he did! My third tho NOT my final peice from Amityville Ink by Shane Walkem

Please keep in mind¬†Shane¬†behaves in an extremely proffessional¬†¬†manner when with clients, to be completely fair, I definitely was the instigator behind the way we now interact, and I love it! I don’t only consider him my amazingly talented body artist but a close friend, whom I am¬†very thankful to have met! Now I thinnk it’s time I share him with the world! Enjoy!

Here are some truly beautiful examples of his original body art:

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Find him at any of the links above or this one here –>¬†Amityville Ink by Shane Walkem These are some examples of his Cover Ups:

Mind Over Matter

Have to stop hurting myself, hating myself, underestimating myself

I cannot undo any of what has already been done

Nor can I keep picking up my baggage as I turn to run

There are so many ways to destroy yourself

So many ways to just ignore the help

Yes, for me it has been a struggle since day one

Not a single day have I spent on my own basking in the sun

I hide in the clouds

Letting myself get lost amongst the crowds

Allowing my life to be pulled by some unseen current

You’d think a past like mine may act as a kind of deterrent

Wisdom they say is making mistakes and learning not to make them again

I often wish my hurting heart would listen to my clever weary brain

Never even taking notice of the warning signs as I race through the back roads

Like some demonic highway

If I want help I must realize it can’t always be my way

Those who offer opinions aren’t always trying to disagree

Most times they too only wish to set me free

Apparently tho I am not the only one I hide behind this mask

I watch thru the peep holes as helpers turn to monsters before my eyes

Before they can even get near their task

Once again its time to pull down the blinds

I sincerely don’t want to see the world and all humanities crimes

I’m still struggling to find real faces, for in this world it takes all kinds

At last tho I have realized this battered heart has no clue what it needs to find

So from this day forward I vow I will no longer allow it to take the controls from my mind

©2013 Shavon Taylor CloversAllOver.com

Sunny Daze

Everyday I’m searchin for a lil more sun
A lil more focus maybe a lil less fun
These wet rainy days leave me lookin’ for a dry place to sit
Another to get close to, some place I may fit
Seems the ones I tend to meet I end up wishin I could forget
Don’t get me wrong I refuse to live a life I regret
Tho these showers can be lonely and cold
My future, my happiness remains untold
My entire lifetime I may spend searchin’ for you
All the while you might be just behind me racing to pursue
Like the fresh forest floor covered in dew
I wake each morning seeking something new
A reason for being, checking the window in hopes its a rainbow Ill be seeing
Tho I don’t let the storms outside get to me
For i know deep down happiness will one day find me
That will be the day i break free finally
Free from the rain, the pain, walking proudly, no shame
Somehow you will know how to tame my flame
As you ignite the spark
I will know I will never agian endure another nite alone in the dark
Together we will always find the sun
Where we will so happily run
Away from the sadness and gloom falling into a bed of laughter in our own room
A place where love and care will forever live
A place where there’s no wrong we would commit that the other couldn’t forgive
At times it hurts to stay locked in my head
In the feilds of flowers I’d much rather tred
Alone searching for those sunny days is where I remain instead
I know I can‘t do this all on my own
Still I’ll refuse to go on in misery each day only to grumble and groan
One day happiness will be my home
Together in the sun we will shine
For I am yours and you will be mine

wi©2013 Shavon Taylor

Love Deprived

I cannot sleep another second, nor can I go on with my eyes closed
So much of my life I’ve just slept away, so much I missed while I just dozed
Dreams so rarely find me in the night, more often it’s nightmares that wake me with such fright
That’s when I find myself reaching for the light instead of you to hold me tight
I hate to have to admit to fear,especially when you’re not here
When I have to shake it off and pretend it’s all ok
While I’m forced to carry on thru what seems like such a hollow pointless day
You have no idea how alone I sometimes feel, like there’s no escape even when I know the cage is not real
I guess I never realized just how much strength I gain merely  from your presence, somehow the strangle hold of fears grip just lessens
It’s like it can’t get a hold on me if I’m holding you
Lately tho in the dark I still have to fight for you too
The closer we should be the faster and farther you pull away from me
Not even your nightmares keep you in my arms, in my head all I hear are alarms
You’re fading slowly, slipping from my view
You never were by my side, no matter how hard I tried or pretended I knew
All this time I thought one day we might win
Your heart tried to tell me to stop, but I fought to be a part of all I saw within
All I’ve ever wanted for us was happiness
As I tried to build more for us, you progressively gave me less
Not because you want to remain sad, not even to prove all the reasons I sometimes make you so mad
Maybe because I want it so bad, everything I’ve never had, I wanted to share with you
You say you’ve had it all and were forced to watch it falling
Tho I still believe it’s possible for you to take the chance and love, I must realize this is not a chance you will take with me

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Open My Eyes to See Me

Evermore I battle within myself
Each way I turn I feel I must go without
The endless battle with hurt and deception leaves me filled with doubt
I hurt those closest to me, mostly in fear they too may realize I’m not who I should be
I won’t allow myself to gain when I could
Only taking what is free, not asking for that which is owed to me
If I chose to I could own this world, so simply I could twirl it on my finger tip
Never again would I slip, if I’d merely step up to the plate
My passion and power are unimaginable, there’s no limits on what I might create
The fact that I stand here staring fate in the face without making a move is unfathomable
If only I let go of any and all fear
If I refused to shed another tear not shed in joy
If I could grab hold of love and life, embrace it all and finally enjoy
Well maybe I’d actually know what it is to live
Sometimes it just doesn’t matter how much you give or how much you care
It’s all about how much you do and when you’re actually there
Achievements and accomplishments are the worst things I fear
Now if I could just find a way to make me see it this clear

©2013 Shavon Taylor CloversAllOver

Dark Sea

I hate seeing those rain clouds hanging above your head
Swimming with thoughts and feelings unsaid
I can feel your pain wash over me
Suddenly I’m right beside you drowning in that dark sea
How do I keep your head above the surface while those thoughts weigh you down like lead?
I’ve been waiting for your flood to subside, keeping all my advice inside
To just listen, just be there
I only wish all your troubles could be taken away with the tide
Unfortunately it’s not that simple, it never really is
I may be able to offer support, or comfort, even a place to keep you dry temporarily
Just know you will work your way thru it
We both know you can do it
Just as sure there will always be pain, every once in a while it has to rain
It’s what comes after the rain that makes it worthwhile to weather
Everything is so fresh and renewed
You will go back out there and fight while growing so incredibly  strong
Until again one day you find yourself sinking in that dark sea
Worry not, for you know exactly where you will find me

©2013 Shavon Taylor CloversAllOver

Stages of Crazed Rages

So sure is he who tries to tell me who to be
So unpure the anger he forces thru me
Naive, negative, nonsensical nuisance he has become
My choices leave no comfort as they weigh on my conscience
Tho I have no intent to hurt him, his frailty seems an infants equivalence
Unable to express exactly what it would take to calm him
I’m left to guess just how to soothe him
Never before have I witnessed an outlook so grim
So focused on the f*ckery, bitterly battling everyone,
Himself and those his mind creates
His anger fills him up so full all bits of sanity left deflate
I can’t keep up with his head trips
Quite honestly the violence is frightening when he flips
I wonder when did his madness start, just how long has it been
I’m watching him fall apart, he’s bursting at the seams
All normalcy hits the floor as I realize there’s no time to make it to the door
Once again I’m in for a show
Off the handle he flys tellin’ me things I’d really rather not know
No matter how I try I can’t get him back down to earth with me
Reality remains something I can no longer make him see
It hurts to know he is so far gone
Fanatically convinced he’s merely a pawn
They’re all out to get him you see
It’s all just a game, we all want him to lose, that’s right even ME
Now he’s a lone soldier fighting his own mind
Peace, hope, sanity, serenity things he no longer even attempts to find
I thought my lil rain showers were insane
In comparison to his typhoon my crazy seems rather tame
I’m not sure there’s a way for me to help him and even if there were I’m not sure I could stay
Although my crazy may not compare to his,
In my mind I know I’m only moving closer everyday
Unfortunately my only option left is to pick up MY pieces and go the other way

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Get Up, Or Get Out

Infatuations with irritations 

Constant imitations of immature situations

Frustration combined with irrationalization leads to awkward occasions

With no occupation to busy the mind, confrontation can be quite easy to find

No sense, no reason, never can stay

Leavin’ all kinds behind

Go on pretendedly blind, stuck on play or pause

No rewind, why is it not easier to be kind?

Insanity instead is what we find

Justifications severely confined, to suit self-gratification

View is brutally battered, it needs to be refined

Alterations to be made on your ulterior motives have been outlined

Change your inspiration, gotta make changes of all kinds

Just moments of sunshine will better or brighten your day

A single second spent seeking help will lighten your way, or weigh

No reason to stay knowing all the while you’re going astray

Don’t act like you don’t know the way, or that you can forever keep your loved ones at bay

Enough of the games no more time to play 

Just open up and feel the warmth of the day

Your happiness awaits, yet inside is where you choose to stay?

Where vanity inflates as your sanity has hit the brakes

Inside is where you keep all your emotions too 

Bitterness flourishes in cold dark places, or people like you 

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Mind Goggles

The mind can be a terribly treacherous tyrant,

Taking control of all emotion

Changing, replacing, rearranging all ideas or preconceived notions

Stretching farther than imagination

Turning once readily received  ideas into insane irrationalizations

As the tiniest irritations perceived become believed infatuations

Time becomes lost, caught in a free fall, it all comes undone, at what cost?

Shielded fun, yielded fruit from forgotten trees

Some so rotten, the others, never allowed to see

Tho it all still grows deep within

The beauty bestowed will silence any sin

We continue our search, some climb so high, even out on the frailest of limbs

Unfortunately the darkness still finds a way to seep in

Under cover of sleep or shade of trees in broad day light

Seeking our reason to be,  unafraid  we will fight

The trick is knowing, not merely believing what we fight for is right

Both dreams and fears are only what we have created

Our screams or tears could be so easily evaded

Instead it all builds perpetually

We may not always have a choice in our destination

You may even attempt to put the blame on destiny

We all know the seeds we plant as we go,

What they may become if allowed to grow

Just remember we all fall sometimes, so look out below

©2013 Shavon Taylor

I of the storm

I have no idea where I’m goin’
You have no idea where I’ve been
My life story is a bumpy one I don’t often care to share
People tend to look at you differently when they hear how much you’ve endured
I don’t have to explain a thing when i choose instead to remain reserved
I still haven’t quite figured out how to make the chaos stop
It keeps going even when I feel it’s done
Up that proverbial mountain I continually climb and fall, no matter how hard I try I can’t stay on top
I want to just pick up the scattered pieces and move on
Where would I begin, how am I supposed to just let go
I’ve been rolling this storm for so long now
I can’t help but wonder if it may have grown a life of its own
What if I can’t stop what I’ve started?
If after the darkness rolls out and the clouds have parted,
Will it all unravel and spin completely out of control
I guess there’s really only one way to know
I feel so ashamed, why is change so frightening
That impossibly immediate love for you struck my heart like lighting
Everything stopped spinning, for just a moment
There was a beautiful calm all around, in that brief second I saw how my life could be so different
As quickly as it came it was gone
My whole world shook and the spinning kept on
It all now seems so bleak
This storm continues to grow stronger yet I feel so weak
On my own I’m expected to accept any weather that comes my way
Like a dusty picture hanging on your wall, neglected it’s still expected to stay
In the eye of the storm I’m to remain unmoved
Spinning all around my world becomes a blur
Just what did i expect to prove
The unattainable attempting to change the unchangeable
Never once since I met him have I even looked for ground more stable
Still I wish for sanity, for silence, even for simplicity
It seems now he has only grown more afraid of me
Always keeping his distance while guarding with that enraging resistance

For My Friend, You Are The Best

The people who are lucky enough to have you in their lives are blessed!

Believe me it’s true, even if they don’t show it.

It’s only because they just don’t know it yet,

Possibly a few some how just forget.

I am so happy for you a beautiful wife and mother,

A friend like no other.

I always knew if I ever needed you, you’d be right there.

You have overcome so much, your parents must be so proud!

We are two of a kind you and I 

We’ve always stood out from the crowd

Never doing things the conventional way,

Often too our kind caring hearts would lead us astray

Now seeing all you have accomplished gives me a bit of hope

One day you decided enough was enough, and you left before your sanity broke

You knew you deserved so much better and that happiness would soon find you

One day soon I know  I  will do the same, and get it together too.

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Dee Nile the River of Real Eyes-ation

Can you open your eyes and see more than just the river washing you away from me?

Is it really so much easier to deny than to actually allow it to be?

Continue on faking your way thru as you float astray

I can not hold you, if I could I still would not contain you

So go on living your cool cruel life the way you do

There’s no need for you to look me in the eyes

No need for truth, in fact I prefer your lies

I see right thru them so paper thin, where do I begin?

Shall I let go, move on and just find some one new?

Or do I wage this tsunami and fight for you?

This trip to realization has been quite tiresome

I almost can’t remember where it started from

Sloshing on, in this water I continue to tred 

Can’t we start over, fresh and new instead?

Why is it so impossible to get you outta my head?

Will I just float on forever like thoughts in the breeze?

Forever waiting for you to claim me?

This river is merciless, at times relentless

I find myself wishing, “If only you meant less”

Then somehow maybe I could finally free myself of you

Would you suddenly be the one racing to pursue?

They say if you love someone you should set them free

My biggest fear tho is that you won’t even stop to look back for me

In Sanity

This place I thought was once my home

It almost seems as if it’s the only one I’d ever known

My flare, my spark, you know, that bit of me that sets me apart

Recently it’s beginning to feel more like a mark

A signal, a sign following me all the time

Telling those around me I’m not fine

In Sanity, the insane is me, completely crazy

The only one in this place quite like me 

I’ve visited Sanity so seldom lately, I no longer feel welcomed

Once loved and cherished for my flare

Now shoved then banished for my flaws

In Sanity they can’t make up my mind

Independent thoughts?

Few of their population will even think to find

Merely sheep following the masses

I used to pretend this place was too my home

Now to these people I am unknown

When I come around tho I can see some find it hard to pick a side

Interested, intrigued, tho too insecure so still I must hide

In Sanity they are all well rested, so no use trying to run

They’d catch me for sure¬†

My spark, my flair, the way they stare

If they want to act like I don’t matter than why should I care?

A sign, a signal, not to lose track of time or your world might end up like mine

Still they stall, too afraid to fall

In Sanity tho they would never admit it, they crave me 

Their only chance to save their world you see, is me 

In Sanity they need the insanity to set them free

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Seeing Sounds (Trippin’ on Troubled Times)

Rainbow trails lead to purple puddles

Drip drops in Ô¨āip Ô¨āops

Climbing and falling from tree tops

Clean and fresh never lettin’¬†it get stale

Still so frail, still we need

Frantic timing as I’m stalling

I see it stops as I start to look in between

Thoughts pop, as bubbles burst

Teeter totter, should I  bother

Merry go rounds, on our playgrounds

Sandboxes full of castles

The tide can wash it all away

How does water cast shadows?

No need to hide,¬†here’s the lost and found

So instead seek change, rearrange, shake it up

Make your life exactly what you want it to be

Solidify your dreams

You’re in control of your destiny

Choose your own path, forget the past

Everything can be flipped so fast

Can’t¬†always play it safe, don’t fade into the background

Don’t be afraid to make a sound

Cause a stir, Ô¨āy past it all in a blur

A whirlwind isn’t always a disaster,

Just as calm doesn’t mean trouble‚Äôs stayed

Can’t judge what’s inside from just what you see

Who knows maybe you’re exactly like me

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Face This and Fake Less or Remain Faceless

Lookin’ at my heart all battered and bruised,

I can’t help but wonder how I let it all get so bad

Tho my heart’s not shattered, the edges are quite tattered

You can tell it’s been well used

How can a heart so open and so pure, look so sad?

Why is it not shinning and brilliant?

It seems the more I open it up, the more damage it must endure

A true heart must always try to be prepared and remain resilient

For there are many dark hearts out there who see good intentions as good lure

How do you protect such a beautiful fragile thing?

All the while taking care not to jade it

Protection from the cruel chill some bitterly cold people bring

Trying to remember just what made it,

Forgetting any attempts made to break it

Never giving up, nor giving in, but continuing to move on

To be strong and always be sure to give your heart, that way no one can ever take it

If we all loved the way we should, we could all win

If we could all only trust each other enough instead of proving each other wrong

Look at the beauty that dwells down deep in the few who still give their hearts so willingly

See past the smile painted on their face, do you see their pain, isn’t that veil so thin?

Those battered beaten lil hearts may be damaged but they continue beating

Getting up after every fall hoping to finally find another heart just as welcoming

Another who not only see the power but the pain and imperfections too

Some one who loves it all and wants nothing more than to be at least a lil bit like you

The fake hearts hide their faces too afraid so they accept less than what they know they deserve

Stop the madness show your kindness, share your weakness, damn it show some nerve

If you can’t face your reality you’ll remain hurting with nothing to comfort you but your insanity

Wouldn’t you rather attain greatness and be just a lil bit like me?

 

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Change is in Range

Slowly sliding sideways

Losing hours caught in a gaze

No one recalls why, nor intends to but stay

Towers come undone tho we fought to keep them tall

Instead we just start gliding away

Off to new lands upon which we fall

All feel defenseless, just senseless

Lost for days in a daze

Each way you turn in the maze there’s a wall

Try not to fall, it’s no trick, just a trap

No trust merely the feeling of defeat

Slowly you see your backup deplete

Enemies become of every face you meet

All still trying to remain discreet

Just then, right now, or once again

Like I’m front row center n I still can’t find my seat

Lost and confused still gotta get outta the way

Time to get up and out before we run outta time to play

Seriously gotta get serious before it’s too late

No more tempting fate

Shock, or awe, just change up your state

Stop just sitting there dwelling on all that’s unfair

Or all the people who are never there

Stop depending on or defending everyone else

Time to get it together

Get up, grow up, and go on

Move on, you can still getcha groove on

Just gotta let go

Forget bout all the things people don’t show

Stop hiding and pretending you don’t know

Like you don’t ever have to grow

You can’t stay hiding forever behind innocence, like it makes no difference

You must realize one day it becomes ignorance

Next is arrogance, is any of this beginning to make sense?

Don’t be fooled by fools who couldn’t care less bout you

Deep down you know who you are n there’s no one who can stop you

So just do what you do

Always be true to that 1 person who matters the most

YOU

Too Little Too Late

Disturbed and distraught, an angry empty head void of all thought

Ruthless while useless, killing any good

Never doing what he knows he should I must walk away now, I’m not afraid

It’s time I leave him to sleep in the bed he has made

Never doing what is right, I doubt he will ever try

Remember that old saying “outta sight outta mind” for him it’s quite the opposite

He continues to push me, still he tries to lie

Just what will it take for him to see he is all he claims to defy

His games, his stunts, even his scores, none are ever enough

His greed is deep it’s engraved in his core

Don’t make a difference to him who gets hurt or who wins

All common courtesies and senses he deserts as soon as it begins

Only he matters, just his wants, not his needs

Every other he sees as lower class so he taunts them as he walks around planting seeds

His garden tho thrives in darkness and deceit

He is one we all wish to never meet

To your face or when ever it suits his plans he can be so respectful and kind

Tho when your back is turned or you happen to be in his way

He just flips, like he’s completely out of his mind

There’s no fixing for him, no way of helping him get thru

Trust me when I say if you try to help him he will eventually hurt you too

He hurts himself every single day, I can’t watch any more so now I refuse to stay

I’ll pack my things and I’ll walk away

Sadly he’s too far gone, and¬† believe it or not that really hurts me to say

I never expected he could become so irate, never imagined inside he brewed such hate

Now I have no choice but to move on without looking back, tho I wish him all the best

I don’t want to believe he can’t change but the games he plays are completely insane

Trying to help him any longer will only increase my own shame

The things he has done and said are hard enough to get outta my head

Sure he as apologized but I highly doubt he has yet recognized the extent of the damage he has done

Maybe one day I will find a way to forgive him

Today instead I must walk away sadly, thinking it’s all just a sin

©2013 Shavon Taylor

At The Plate

Life keeps on throwin’ me fast balls, umpires screamin’ swing and a miss

Don’t think for a second you can stop me with a few b.s. calls

Nobody else sees a strike, just more foul balls

Not shocked to see no body speaks up, they’re on his side

No surprise silenced are the sidelines

I am human tho so every once in a while I get a lil worried

Hell, sometimes I’m down right scared

No idea just how I’ll pull thru it, but let’s be honest

Not a single one of us is born prepared

Sure, we all spend time, and effort, even money trying to get there

I can’t help but wonder how many have actually pulled it off

I’d like to see a life lead by what was written in pen

Erasers don’t work so well on ink

Here’s what I think, you’d better pencil it in

You never know what’s around the next bend

A new enemy awaiting, or your next best friend

You never really can tell, and I’ve looked pretty hard

For those simple secret words, or some spell I could just cast

Fate may have already put your future on course

Just remember tho your the only one who may determine the significance of your past

It’s your choice to live and learn, or just light a match and watch it all burn

You are not the sum of the events you have encountered

You are not bound by all you have endured

Any mistake you feel you made, deep down only you can know the cure

Don’t waste time trying to create some elaborate excuse

You can’t lie to yourself so what’s the use?

Instead of the bad memories take the good

Be firm, you are so strong so live proud

Some time or another each and every one of us have been mislead, or misunderstood

Just the same, we all procrastinate we all have that list of “I should”

So take some time but make that choice to live the life you know you could

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Real is Worth a Try

Few understand I lead by my hand, always feeling my way thru

Completely in the dark, my observations are made

Odd persuasions attempted eventually fade

Instead we trade new perspectives for a new point of view

Refusing to be reflective faking crimes we’d rather let others commit

No memories now, how quickly we forget

Try gaining from loss?

Where is the towel we should toss?

Ring around the rosy, rings around her eyes

It took a ring upon her finger to realize the truth that all that’s real lies

Now filled with tears are her real eyes

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Fork This Road

I just can’t believe how things tend to work out for me

When I’m in the darkest place

When it feels like there is no light for me to see

Out of no where a window appears

It’s open widely to let the brightness shine thru

When I the road seems too rough for me to carry on,

And I don’t know what I’m going to do

Suddenly as I turn a corner that road is split in two

I see a somewhat smoother trail,

Although it doesn’t always look easy,

It’s one that…well it somehow just suits me

I will take this path

For me it will make a world of difference

Giving me the chance to change,

Allowing me to see how my life can make sense

I’ll stop living it in past tense

Moving up, moving on, moving forward

I can make all the bitterness,

All the pain simply fade away

If I only chose to live my life the right way

©2013 Shavon Taylor CloversAllover.com

Happiness

I lay awake at  night wondering how it all went so wrong

How could I let life slip away from me yet again?

How do I fix anything if I’m not sure how it’s broken?

How do I fix my heart if it’s no longer mine to repair?

How will I find happiness when all I see around me is sorrow?

Pain tends to be my closest friend, love the enemy I constantly battle

When I’m alone I try not to think, my heart plays tricks on my mind

I feel everything is best while it all falls upon the floor

How do I pick up the pieces of this shattered time

These hands, my hands are frozen, motionless just below the surface

I’m left grasping at thin air, one day I know I will find something solid

Until that day I’ll wear my mask of happiness for all to see, meanwhile hidden behind is a broken form of me

Happiness is the easiest emotion for others to see me portray, so readily believed

No one questions what seems so normal on the outside

If only you could see through the layers of this facade, or the energy it takes to maintain this image 

This game feels never-ending, certain to drag on 

Soon I will find a way love myself for myself

On that day I will find my own true happiness

©2010 CloversAllOver Shavon Taylor

Trophy case

I just wanted to take a moment and thank all those who have viewed and those of you who are actually following me!! It’s truly amazing to me how quickly everything can tally up!! I went into my “Trophy¬† Case”** which honestly even just opening it was sooooooo exciting for me but I was amazed at what I saw:

“My, aren‚Äôt you a prolific publisher! Take a look at all the achievements you‚Äôve earned so far. Maybe you should blog about ‚Äėem.”

LOL

I thought I would listen so here is my lil blurb on my lil blog¬† ūüėČ

Thanks again everyone ‚̧

 

**For non-bloggers:”Trophy Case” is where you get lil awards for things like 5 likes/followers, or 20 likes/followers etc.

Give In or Given?

The flames lick at my conscience

Wondering would it really make that much difference?

Could it actually cause me that much harm?

Why is it evilness comes equipped with such charm?

As do the ones who do more damage than you could’ve imagined

Making it feel so incredibly right committing any sin

Knowing it’s wrong, still loosing control because it just feels so damn right

Evil never really lurks in the darkness,

Their faces aren’t hidden under hoods

No they are out in the open trying to tempt you with insanity disguised as delight

Drawing you nearer as the day moves closer to the shade of night

Twisting your insides, pulling you from any place you try to hide

Once you’ve experienced the taste

You can’t stop yourself from wanting more

The yearning is deep, so deep you can feel the pull right down to your core

Licking your lips as you think maybe just the tip

The tip of the iceberg, the height of the climb

I think I’m going to give in just this one time

©2013 Shavon Taylor

I Would, If I Could But You Can’t So We Won’t

If I could change the world, I would not change the color of the sky

Though I would break even the possibility of a lie

I wouldn’t change a single thing about a rainy day

Instead I’d make it so no one would ever again be lead astray

I would never change the meaning of a child’s laughter

If I could, I would fix the ways we think or ehat people were after

I’d still enjoy the sound of the bird’s song in the morning

I only wish I could prevent death or at least let there be more warning

I’d never want to stop a tear drop shed in joy

Though I’d happily erase all the greed, never another soul would it destroy

Even if I could I wouldn’t change the way I look at love

I wish though, I could replace the things we find so hard to let go of

I wouldn’t change my heart or even how much I care

If I could I’d transform the need for love to be equal with the need for air

I’d leave the beauty of every single sunrise and each and every sunset

Instead I would make us all forget the emotion of regret

I wouldn’t take any of the meaning in family or friends

If I could I would reinvent the way any tragedy ends

I’d erase the hate, replace the fakes, and make love the only thing worth a fight

I’d make it so no one could do wrong, and happiness would never again be gone

We could all still be different, I mean we don’t all have to like the same songs

I just want to make it so we don’t have to hurt to grow,

So we wouldn’t all have to learn damage control

No one would never have to wonder what’s right, because we would all just know

Then never again would there be an emotion we’d be too afraid to show

© 2013 Shavon Taylor

Finally Free

As I contemplate all this change, I look around at all the good I’ve found.
Less than 6 months ago I had nothing, so in need.
The greed had taken over me, I’d lost myself.
Gone were my ideals, along with my moral ground.
Once you make up your mind you realize it takes so much less effort to live in the light.
Isn’t it funny how fast things can turn around?
It’s amazing how it all just feels so right!
Don’t be confused, I still battle my demons daily.
Yes it’s a bumpy ride but at least I’m back at the wheel.
I choose where my path shall lead.
I’m going the right direction this time, I can feel it.
Looking ahead now, that’s what I choose to do.
I will no longer look back with that aching dread.
For me; yesterday is gone, over, it’s dead.
My past is now where it belongs, where I have left it.
So it may never again define me, because today I am finally free.

© 2013 CloversAllOver Shavon Taylor

Who am I?

Few admit they know me, more so are those who knew me.
The ones who overcame, got bored of, or just outgrew me are the ones most often to speak freely.
No problem pointing fingers, yes they’re quick to name me.
I only wish that I could kill me, so as to never harm another like you.
To break my chains and forever remain the one you never knew.

I am leaving out the last line for the moment to give you a chance to try to guess. Would love to hear your thoughts or opinions…although I don’t think you can truly get the full effect of the poem with out the last line. That being said, happy guessing ūüôā

© 2013 Shavon Taylor